Well, I began writing this as a P.S. but it got so lengthy that I decided to share it separately.
It was so gracious of the sisters, as well as our family, to think of postponing the funeral to suit my convenience. I would not have imagined that they would do that.
I was amazed at the array of people who turned up - first of all, very happy that good many of our cousins - from Ammachi's side and from Ummamma's side from Vaikom - turned up. Then Palakkappilly-Payyappilly family was very prominently represented. There were also people from Perumanur like Njarackaveli, Kalathiveettil, Thekkanath groups - turning up. People who worked with her, who benefitted from her ministry - the sisters told - several of them, by word of mouth conveyed the news and managed to come and pay her respects.
I would rather have said a vote of thanks on behalf of all of us, than preach a funeral homily. But I thought of making the best of the situation. But then, the first reading about the just (wo)men (Wisdom Chap. 3) was somehow missed when Lischechi beautifully read out the first reading. So my vital link was lost. But I decided not to get worked up because of that.
My preoccupation was Aetty's painful last few years of retired lifealmost clouding her buoyant early years of joyful ministry. I tried to take solace in the Wisdom saying, and also to realise that the ageing-related dispositions are not always within one's control - it is like an illness, happening to you, and you are suffering, while others are also put to some amount of suffering unwittingly.
Aetty felt that her hearing loss and sight were not given adequate attention, and perhaps, those being addressed, she could still lead her fiercely independent life.
AETTY - THE ENTHUSIAST
I felt sorry to see her emaciated figure. Whenever she came home, she was a figure of action at home, and at the church, a figure of impeccable grooming and prayerfulness. But I have only a span of about 8 years for such experience, as after leaving home in 1980, there was hardly any occasion for me to be there at home when Aetty stayed, barring those rare days of my visit to Chalakkudy/Maradu/Perinthalmanna when Aetty was a visitor there. Our home, with so many of us around, was relatively cleaner place when compared to similar houses in our circle those days. But when Aetty arrived, a new level was reached in cleanliness and orderliness - that is my impression. She was trying to replicate the convent culture there.
She was an enthusiastic person. And she went about doing good, after her Master (Act 10:39), especially for the poor, after the great Saint Elizabeth of Hungary, whose namesake she was. Enthusiasm is also explained as a combination of the Greek terms 'en' and 'theos', which means 'being IN GOD'. And that is what a Christian or a religious person is supposed to be, drawing energy from the inexhaustible source of energy.
The array of the church people visiting Aetty was remarkable - from the Jesuits: the new provincial, brother of Sr Iris, is very well known to Aetty; but he could not come as he was taking charge anew, and had sent many of his confreres. OCDs in the neighbourhood - a few of them came and prayed. Former members of SD convent Perumanur came in a group - most likely because of Paul's network with them. There was a routine contigent from CRI (Conference of Religious Institutions) led by my good friend, presently general Councillor, Rev. Fr Biju Vadakkel CMI.
Sr Suni DHM, once upon a time my younger colleague, read out a comprehensive picture of Aetty's life. The last rites and the solemn mass was led by the Auxiliary Bishop of Varapuzha Antony Valungal(?), ably assisted by the Vicar General Fr Mathew Velathinkal? The Bishop's introduction was also a very comforting and inspiring one and there was hardly anything left to be said, I felt. There was a very senior priest Fr Antony...., and the chaplain Fr Titus (formerly parish priest of St. Joseph, Thevara) read the gospel. And I preached the homily, drawing inspiration from Vavachayan's reflection on Jesus' death leading to the proclamation by the centurion: Indeed, he was a Son of God! Aetty's death was the final victory - a smooth passing over to the new world, soaked in prayer. Two days of accompaniment by many, including the closest of her relatives, and to smoothly glide into that timeless state. (They recalled Saju's timely intervention, helping her to regurgitate, leading to great ease before that final easement.) Ummamma was fortunate to be supported by Ammachi and Aetty to pass to the next world. I think Aetty was much more fortunate, with her sister nuns as well as almost all of us family beside her in those last hours.
I would look at Aetty's 80 plus years with great happiness - having seen 1000 full moons (81 years) itself is considered in our tradition a great milestone. I think that part she achieved with great sobriety. Her early phase was of hard struggle against the odds, making oneself a self-made person, skilled and earning one's livelihood. The occasion to be attracted to Vimalayam is still a mystery to me - though the sisters recounted her occasion to come to Vimalayam for industrial skill training and then being pulled in that direction. Perhaps, the charisma of Sr Treesamma (whom Aetty used to call Miss Treesamma, after the style they had adopted for the congregation as such) also had a role. Then after the short period of training came, here 3 to 4 decades long enthusiastic work with various communities - chiefly, I would say Kottayam, Trivandrum, Kara and Gothuruth. Apparently the last two decades was marked with being under the influence of charismatic movement and consequent biblical devotion - some practices appearing to be stupid to normal eyes. And then those last years - about 5 years - of suffering. The last meeting I had with her, on April 25th, she was drastically altered. Her physical frame was waning. Her eyes did not meet you. She had no more complaints of hearing or hearing loss. She was gazing already into eternity and her prayers were almost solely 'at the hour of my death - call me and bid me come to you'... And as a Christian would view, befittingly for a daughter of the Heart of Mary, she was called to the Lord on the feast of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, which follows the feast of Sacred Heart, immediately after.
WITNESSES GALORE
There were five witnesses today: Only later did it occur to me that I should have taken a picture of these people.
One artist looking Rajiv from Gothuruth recalled how she dared to pull him out of the country liquour bar and forced him into a life of abstinence. Mostly successful. Though the sisters say that some times he slips back. But he appeared to be well-read and appreciating what Aetty had done for him
One smart tall young man - Jomin (??) who was touched by Elizabeth as she visited his mother who was ill and tried to support the family in trouble. He is a great fan of Elizabeth and was there all through the ceremony.
Another tall middle-aged man - Johnson from Kara, recalls how Aetty caned (chooral) him and forced him to come to Church, which his parents could not do. He has been in touch with Elizabeth since then.
One of my SH colleagues of support staff was there, recalling how she helped his family through in their financial crisis, helping them find job and supporting in various other ways through their crisis. They are related to Rosily, who was a great friend of Elizabeth, but had quit the religious life after some time.
As I was departing, the sisters said they were happy with what I had shared. That is a consolation. And they added that an SD sister had come in the morning with a mother, to tell what Elizabeth had done for them. Her son was found to be good for nothing, and she sought Elizabeth's help. And he made efforts to help him with the basics of English, which led him into priestly training, and lo and behold, he is getting ordained this year!
Sr ...., a much younger, but great companion of Aetty confided that Mother Dilema (who is also known to me) had remembered her and had conveyed her regards with a note. I hope that will be shared with me soon, which I will add here.
I was thoroughly comforted by the great impact Aetty had had on individuals and families. Perhaps, we hardly knew this work of Aetty.
Hence, I choose Wisdom, chapter 3 for celebrating her entry into eternity:
1. But the souls of the righteous are in the hand of God, and no torment shall touch them.
2. In the eyes of the foolish, they seemed to die; and their passing away was thought an affliction.
3. And their going forth from us, utter destruction. But they are in peace.
4. For if to others, indeed, they seem punished, yet is their hope full of immortality;
5. Chastised a little, they shall be greatly blessed, because God tried
I thank God for Aetty the great, for whom Kunjangala, his wife (chechi) and their children were the greatest possessions.
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