Pati aur Patni - Wow!! Karwa Chauth through SDG Lens

Oct. 20, 2024 Sunday

'Pati, patni aur woh' - is a popular Hindi movie of 2019 by Mudassar Aziz (Kartik Aryan, Bhumi Pednekar & Ananya Panday) which was a commercial hit and entertainer with fidelity in a marital relationship being the central theme.  The title had been very popular after the 1978 movie of the same name by  B.R. Chopra with Sanjeev Kumar, Vidya Sinha and Rajneeta Kaur in the lead roles. 

Today, on the day of Karva Chauth, reading about it in 'amar ujala' I was inspired to reflect on the pati-patni relationships, and with several of pati-patni of my own generation and those prior to me on the canvas, I cannot but say 'wow'! What commitment, what forbearance, and hopefully, great contentment and mutual enrichment!  I hope, the modern day believers who practice such religious traditions enlarge its scope to make it a celebration of mutual commitment, devotion and support in marital life, encouraging gender equality (SDG 5)for the well-being of families, the well-being of all.

Deva-daanav battles are a prominent feature of one of the dominant Hindu traditions. And the narrative is in favour of the Devas, invariably they are the protagonists; and the Danavs, the antagonists, even when some such fights are triggered off by the villainy of some of the Devs!  So the story is about such a fight and the Devs were losing.  They were desperate, approached Brhama, who finding no way out, suggested that if the consorts of all the Devas would fast and pray with a clean heart for the victory of their husbands, And they all did exactly that - and lo, the losing battle was won around the moon rise on the fourth day of the waning phase of Moon in Kaartik month (Krishna paksh Chaturthi). It is kept by all suhagins (those 'blessed' married women with their husbands alive - one of the very few uniquely Indian concepts of the Indian grand narrative, howsoever obscurantist that may sound; modern India has not contributed a single new concept to the world) fasting the whole day without even water till the moon rise, for the long life, health and all good fortune of the husbands.  The fast is broken by receiving water from the husband at moon rise. There is a tradition that considers an unbroken 12 to 16 years of this observance; or life-long. 

The story is replicated with Draupadi having kept the karva chauth fast leading to the victory of the Pandavas in the Mahabharata battle. 

The Internet provides other stories as well: Queen Veeravati, newly married,  kept a strict fast for her husband, but fainted on account of exhaustion, and her seven brothers, not able to bear her suffer, convinced her that the moon had risen and made her break the fast. No sooner had she done that she receives the news of the untimely death of her husband, and on her way to her husband, she is met with Lord Shiva and Parvati, from whom she gathers that the false breaking of the fast as the cause. She devotion is rewarded by Parvati bringing the prince back to life, still ailing. She finds her husband in a delicate condition with needles all over his body. She is said to have kept the fast of Chauth in each of the 12 months that followed her husband's revival, and she patiently picks out one needle a day, leaving just one for the next Karva Chauth.  When she had gone out for the karva puja, her maid removed the remaining needle, and gaining consciousness, mistakes her as his queen and the real queen as the maid.  Veeravati's genuineness finally wins the husband back and queenship is restored to him.

The other story is about Godess Karva whose husband was killed by a crocodile while bathing in river Thungabhadra.  She tied the crocodile to a tree using raw yarn with the strength of her chastity and dedication, and prayed to Yama for reviving her husband. Yama didn't dare to provoke her anger and brought him back to life, while sending the crocodile to the next world. It is the inspiration for Karva Chauth, where married women fast and pray to Goddess Karva for the wellbeing of their husbands,  offering arghya to the moon.  

I was happy to read Yogesh Kumar Goyal (Amar Ujala Oct. 20, 2024 p. 11) commenting that there are today enlightened husbands who join their wives - this appears healthy, in a practice otherwise reinforcing exploitative patriarchal values. Ideally, this should happen - fasting in an otherwise overconsuming culture is itself a good health practice. Combining it with prayers with a clean heart for the well-being of the life partner is doubly healthy.  If the entire Hindu fold observes this (with this intent the whole world should do that), avoiding all food and all cooking for a day, it can immensely enhance the well-being of the common home (vasudha - which indeed is considered the family, according to an Indian axiom).  Hence, for me, it is a celebration of SDG 3 - good health and well-being. 

The images I found of the feast generally project a fasting woman waiting for the moon to rise, at times, accompanied by her (caring) husband. However, I found a few pictures of women gathering around puja materials and food.  Though the celebration in itself appears to be the celebration of patriarchal values, at least for one day it is a woman's world for themselves - though centred around the husband figure. It appears to be their fellowship and their space, which are very often absent even in this modern world.  While I don't feel, we, in the South of India, are missing anything by not having Karwa Chauth, yet bearing this spirit, zindabad karwa chauth! 

https://www.memeraki.com/blogs/posts/karva-chauth-sacred-stories-behind-the-fasting-ritual

images: https://in.images.search.yahoo.com/search/images?p=karva+chauth+-+images&fr=mcafee&type=E211IN885G91648&imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fimages.thequint.com%2Fthequint%2F2019-10%2F9b4233d0-b074-4475-a78a-ffe541128d5e%2FiStock_1180633448.jpg%3Fauto%3Dformat%252Ccompress#id=91&iurl=https%3A%2F%2Fdata1.ibtimes.co.in%2Fen%2Ffull%2F540135%2Fkarva-chauth-2014.jpg%3Fw%3D1200&action=click

Raksha bandhan - Celebrating sisterhood - brotherhood - family

Rakshabandhan

As we celebrate this day, and I get a day free from office, I thought I would pen down my random thoughts for the day. 

The last day of the sacred month of Sravan (the fourth month) is celebrated as Raksha Bandhan in the Northern part of India. The most popular ritual is that of the sister tying a raksha - raakhi (an amulet or a talisman) around the right wrist of the brother. My coworkers tell me that usually this is done in the afternoon around 1.30 pm as that is considered auspicious for the same (I do a google search to find that the most auspicous time is between 1.43 pm and 4.20 pm for this year!).  The amulet is supposed to ward off evil and protect (raksha) the brother, while the tying of rakhi would imply the assurance of protection of the sister by the brother. Though there are well-known instances in history where Indian queens have sought such protection from more powerful male rulers of the region, essentially, this is a family festival and explicitly promotes the bond between siblings. 

There is an Indian tradition which speaks about the real scholar (naturally, a male!) based on his perception - perhaps education should lead to that stature. Of the three aspects, the first is 'maatruvat para daareshu' - the ability to see women who are not in immediate kinship as 'mother'.  This festival inspires me to tweak it to consider them as one's sister - though, not an easy task.  But achieving that status you are a learned person - pandita:! Another attribute for the enlightenend learner/scholar is the ability to perceive 'every being as oneself' (aatmavat sarva bhooteshu).  This appears to go along with the great statements (mahaavaakya) of Vedaanta - aham brahmasmi (Brihdaarnyaka Upanishad) and tattvam asi (Chandogya Upanishad)! If education leads to the ability (competency) of recognizing oneself as a God-presence and the other as the reflection of the same, treating everyone as if one would have treated oneself (as taught by Jesus, Luke 6:31), then the world would be Kingdom of God or Raamraajya. 

In today's world where in spite of all the big talk about the equality of genders, everyday atrocities against women are reported, such celebrations should go beyond the rituals to a collective resolve of ensuring protection for the more vulnerable sections of the family and the society, without making that a pretext for subjugation.  Even today, the Manu Code (9:3), often taken literally is the norm: 

पिता रक्षति कौमारे भर्ता रक्षति यौवने ।
रक्षन्ति स्थविरे पुत्रा न स्त्री स्वातन्त्र्यमर्हति ॥ ३ ॥

pitā rakṣati kaumāre bhartā rakṣati yauvane | rakṣanti sthavire putrā na strī svātantryamarhati || 3 ||

The other Manu statement on women, is often twisted to ritualistic sanctification which would further curtail the freedom of women. 'yatra naaryastu poojyante ramante tatra devataa: (यत्र नार्यस्तु पूज्यन्ते रमन्ते तत्र देवताः 3:56).  This calls for honouring and treating the women well. 

Unfortunately, this noble culture of protection gets confined to the homes, and at times takes a virulent form of over-protection, where the women are denied their rights to choose their lifestyle, profession or means of livelihood, life partner etc.  The changed contexts are not applied when it comes to the status of the more vulnerable of the society - it could be women, it could be those who belong to the lower rungs in the caste hierarchy. 

Selective Rage

The festival is happening against the backdrop of the raging anger against the cruel rape and murder of a senior medical intern at RG Kar Medical College, Kolkotta on August 9, 2024 night. The anger just doesn't subside and it is spreading, apparently in an organised manner. Understandable. However, I am really surprised that a similar incident where a young nurse working in a hospital in Uttarakhand was reported missing on July 31st and her body was found on August 8th in Bilaspur, UP and the perpetrator of the crime is said to have been identified and arrested on August 13th.  There isn't heard a whimper of a protest or there hardly is any rage about this woman's rape and murder. There is hardly any problem with any governments by anyone since the finding of the body on 8th and the arrest of the alleged rapist murderer on the 13th. Today, the newspaper reports the gang rape of a minor in Dehradun, the girl is alive and apparently with the Child Welfare Committee of the state. Yes, the gang is identified and those involved are arrested. 

I am unable to distinguish between this selective rage spreading over the entire nation over one elite victim, and hardly any mention or even reporting on similar incidents happening in other states - especially in UK and UP.  Or does it have something more than mere empathetic rage for the victim? Or is it because it has happened in the assumed safety of an institution - or a hospital (which have become soft targets for violence against health professionals)?

Right to Safety, Security and Protection - for Women and for Everyone, Everywhere

Today's newspaper also reports the attack of an AI stewardess in her hotel in London - indicating that the issue of women's vulnerability and need for protection is not a matter confined to India.  I recall instances of preying on women leading to rape and murder reported in the US last month. 

Protection of the life of everyone is the need and the right. A state can claim that it is a welfare state only when this is ensured. It implies that the state is a friendly place for all and it is tested true, when the most vulnerable enjoy such protection - the women, the ageing, the physically-mentally-socially challenged, the children! Where every individual citizen is 'honoured' and 'revered' as a dignified presence as guaranteed by the constitution of India. 

An Inspiring Model 

The Catholic church celebrates St. John Eudas of 17th century France this day (August 19).  

He founded a women's society dedicated to the upliftment of women who were found to be leading a disorderly life, rescuing them back to lead a life of dignity. 

 

He lived in an era where the Church had become extremely degenerate, with the higher clergy leading an ostentatious life exploiting the commoners and even waging wars, and the ordinary clergy ill-educated to guide and inspire the faithful.  He tried to reform by establishing an order of well-educated priests who would take up educating the priests as their primary mission. 

While it is fitting to demad protection from the state as a right, St John challenges us to do our bit to make our homes, our institutions, our communities safe spaces for all! 

My Sisters

Though we don't have any such festival in the South (or at least in Keralam), I have found our sibling bonds to be rather strong - they used to be.  Now being sort of away from such circles, I am not sure whether this is still so. 

Our student Soumya of II BCA is playing sister for all of us today. A first-time rakhi experience for me. 

Today, I remember my beloved sisters with love.  The three of them elder to me had been a great support to all of us as we grew up as siblings. I remember how well they managed their studies while taking upon themselves the daily chores of our small family of 9 siblings😀😃! I have also seen them delicately balancing their professional life actively involving in the same, while managing their homefront, not leaving room for any of their children to complain of neglect. Perhaps, in doing that they set aside the possible heights they could have scaled in their careers.  But I think they have no regrets, though, at times, I do. 

I also remember my sister-cousins - good many of them - with whom even now, we all maintain very healthy and warm relationships. 

Sisters and Mothers for the World

But I remember also those sisters, hundreds of them, who have left their homes to be the sisters of everyone in the world - many of whom were my teachers or promoters, who still treat us all with motherly care - especially those sisters of the destitute who have been our sisters thanks to the schooling we all received from them. My teachers Sr Elsius, Sr Gennet, Sr Lisa, Sr Barthol (+), Sr Christa (+), our headmistresses Sr. Lucy (+), Sr Florine (+) and several others including the beloved Srs. Philamine, Josephath (Roseline), Maris, Kusumam, Beena, Geena, Chrisalda, Ann (+), John Mary (+), Eusabia, Floria (+), Rozario (+), Rosalind (+), Evlalia (+), Donald, Bertilla, ....a host of them.  All of them dedicating their lives as per the gospel of today - Mtt. 19:21 - left everything and followed Jesus, to be sisters and mothers to all the world. 

PS.  Watched the movie 8 AM Metro directed by Raj Rachakonda, where a man and woman get to know each other quite unexpectedly, developing a friendship, and in the process healing each other. Felt good watching the movie told in a very simple manner, but indicating the possibilities of healthy human relationships that lead to wholeness - human potential for intimate relationships without the nomenclatures of brother, sister, friend etc. 

www.samskritabharatiuk.org

https://www.wisdomlib.org/hinduism/book/manusmriti-with-the-commentary-of-medhatithi/d/doc201361.html

Women Professionals - Equality myth and Vulnerability

On the eve of Rakshabandhan Day 2024, when brotherhood and sisterhood are  promoted from within the family  to circles beyond that, to ensure protection (raksha), safety and security of the more vulnerable sex, as thus conceived and perhaps perpetrated by the society.  While brotherhood and sisterhood are worth celebrating, attaching the concept of security and protection further asserts the age-old perception of a 'weaker sex' or 'unequal sex' requiring additional protection, as opposed to the vehement stance taken by proponents of equality of sexes. 

The cruel rape and murder of a senior medical intern at Kar Medical College, Kolkotta has really traumatized citizens across the nation. While the medical fraternity and thousands of others join in the protest against the lack of security to women (and) medical professionals, there is another instance of  brutal murder of a health professional of Uttarakhand in Uttar Pradesh. 

I stand by them both, their families, and hold them before the source of all life and healing, and demand justice not only for them, but for all, as promised by our constitution. 

However, several questions well up in my mind some of them likely to be interpreted as misogynist. 

1. The issue of protection of the life of women.  Does it imply that for women there should be additional measures of protection and security? (Perhaps, this is valid for children, the elderly, the physically or mentally challenged etc. as well.)

Apparently, that is the demand from all. I have no difficulty in accepting and supporting this demand.  However, that definitely would imply that women are not all that equal with men. Equal in diginity, but not equal in capacities - they are different, with differing physiological structures and consequent roles, and at least some social roles also are derived from that which may have implications regarding their claim for equality in all domains. 

The ultra-feminist argument of equality is antithetical to the frequent demand for additional protection, reservation for getting represented etc. However, the value of equality should ensure that there is no bar for any woman to have access to any human domain, forum or office on her merit. 

2. On the other hand, the acceptance that women and men are not equal with respect to capabilities, should lead to special treatment for women - ensuring that 50% of humanity is adequately represented in all fields - flowing from the angle of the greater common good and collective human wisdom. 

3. The issue also has further stressed the need for the protection of health professionals, especially doctors who handle human lives and who are called to the duty of promoting life - there appears to be increasing violence against them in this land.  While there are instances of errors and malpractices, there are equal or more number of emotionally fuelled violence against health professionals and institutions.  There indeed needs to be much more efficient systems and procedures that the lives of the professionals responsible for protecting life are safe; while also ensuring that they function in a manner that is life-promoting, as there are evident violations on the part of the medical fraternity as well.  The latter aspect is monstrously evident in the sectors where the health professionals engage with the most vulnerable sections of the society, especially in the public sector. 

4. However, can the collective organised strength of one of the most valued professions of the country in leading a protest that imperils the lives of several thousands be justified? 

Protests, lobbying and pressurizing for apt policy may be necessary for the required results, but would depriving those thousands who are not responsible for the situation of their life in any way be justifiable? 

Would the well-knit and organised doctor fraternity-sorority thus come up if a life is lost evidently on account of the neglect on the part of one of their professional colleagues? And, there are cases galore proving the same. Would the value of the life of such victims be any the less than the present victim? 

* I am still too naive to understand the dynamics of protests when CM Mamta has shown explicit solidarity with the victim and the health professional fraternity, has initiated an inquiry, with a deadline and has also volunteered to hand over the case to the national agency if no results are obtained within the deadline.  The court has found deficiency in the functioning of the state police and has transferred the case promptly to the national agency, and I look for better results from their intervention daily but do not find the national agency accomplishing anything drastically different to make things better.  (I am neither a fan of Mr Modi or BJP, nor of Mamta or TMC; though I do admire certain aspects of their leadership. I do fear the politics of the state and the nation have entered this case in a nasty way). 

Picture - <https://www.meaningfullife.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/women_and_men_Different_but_equal.jpg> Aug. 19, 2024