CHRISTI FESTA - On Educating Young Ones

CHRISTI FESTA - 41st Annual Day Christ Central School, Maruthoor, Thiruvalla
CHRISTI FESTA itself sounds imposing, if not pompous. Now they add another name for the cultural events - AEVUS! This is how the new philosophy works - 'why make things simple, when we can make them complex?'
AEVUS - A word that came across me for the first time - as I can recall! It is tickling my curiosity.
Now these new gadgets come really handy.  When I noticed it, I felt like consulting my friends sitting around, but sensed that it would be of no avail. In all likelihood, 'it was all greek & latin.  Then the dictionary app in the android is there! However, it could reach only up to 'm'.  Then, that was better! Yes, it was latin ( I should have guessed). In Scholastic philosophy, the aevum (also called aeviternity) is the mode of existence experienced by angels and by the saints in heaven. In some ways, it is a state that logically lies between the eternity (timelessness) of God and the temporal experience of material beings.  Back at the desk, (google se bachke kahan jayega?) discovered aevus-i (masculine) means time of life, age, old age, generation etc. I think the school should rename it aevum, as that appear more suited for the occasion they claim or try to create.  In all the compering that sense of the word was not heard coming out. It would have made at least some people richer by a word!

I am glad to have been invited - feeling proud of my confrere and batch mate (though junior, having managed to jump up, skipping one step) Mathukutty, the great Dr. Mathew Thengumpally CMI.  Proud for he has been nationally recognized for his contributions as a teacher/Principal twice (or more?)! Jealous that I could never have had any such recognition. However, when he introduces me to his smart head boy Suresh and head girl Sandra, that he had been a topper among us wherever he had been with some additional description, that becomes an award for me. On his behest, the kids fall at my feet (traditional mode of seeking blessing - kuruttam- gurutvam) asking that they be number one. I don't mind now imparting a blessing!! I say, 'be better, do better'.  It is more important to learn well, rather than be number one. Betterment is in reference to one's self, primarily, though there is no harm in your desire to be better than others, or do better than how others do!
I am proud and happy of Mathukutty - we are good friends.  That has brought me here.  He appears in the photo as if he is all set to take a leap - He is a puli, a paayum puli. When we lived together as students, we had to be very wary if we were playing with him.  He could very easily snatch a ball in our possession and score against us! I am sure that the school is thriving under his vigilant and experienced leadership. 
I recall Fr. Kurian Mukochery the founder who happened to be a friend or mentor to my father.  I also remember other key people involved Fr. Joshy the manager, Fr. Jimmy, Fr. Antony - former principals, Fr. Mayanparampil - Vice Principal - all of them my friends.
I feel the school is very privileged to have a PTA and an erudite President like Mr. Haridas who has already given a very relevant message for the day in a befitting manner. I salute the PTA.
I am deeply impressed by the song sung by Vishak Thomas on baalyam! I wonder whether he has realised what he had been singing about - though he did it mellifluously.
He sang about it as 'maavin chottile manamulla madhuramaanu', also about, 'chelimannu' and 'mashithandu'.  When I came back to Thevara after a gap of more than 30 years, my confrere was planning to plant a set of royal palms on the school campus. Definitely, something is better than nothing (the gulmohurs - Delonix Regia, were falling apart, and hence removed).  I suggested, thanks to inspiration from my good friend Thomas, the agorean naturalist, that at least one country mango tree be planted.  I was convinced of it.  And I suggested that let our children see our local trees, and not just the same uniform stuff, but the diverse and the local which are disappearing.  Somehow it clicked with my good friend. And lo, we had a mango tree, right in hte middle of the campus, without being a nuisance to traffic or games (courts).  It's now more than three years and has grown up, and not likely to be destroyed.  May be the generations after me may enjoy a baalyam with the sweet scent of ripened country mangoes!! In addition, thanks to Fr. Joshy who took the idea in earnest a star forest was introduced and the campus has almost 30 varieties of trees with their local and scientific names for the children to see, feel and experience!!
But out here, has anyone of you children has had the experience of mango and its scent? of mashi thandu, of chelimannu? This is a generation, highly protected from cheli. They don't have chorry. Hence their immunity is less. I look back at my fortunate baalyam where I grew up in a small family of 9 children, being in the middle, and never having had the feeling to demand the many things which were even otherwise not really available. We easily felt that we could not ask for 'things'. That we had enough to eat was good enough and satisfying.  But today we are grooming a highly protected generation which has not seen 'mashi' then why should they have mashithandu? They have all in packs! Even family? Family packs!! They have not touched cheli, they have not heard 'no' and gradually, we are building a generation which is emasculated, weak! It is up to us to school them if not born tough (like CEAT tyres), train them tough, so that they can withstand the vicissitudes of life, from which no parent can shield them forever, except by a shikshanam!
When I think of baalyam, the Mammootty picture comes to my mind, where he narrates his story of childhood friendship (katha parayumbol) with Balan. Tears swell up in my eyes when I see the scene. What kind of friendships are our children having? What kind of shikshanam our children should have? That leads me to share with you two small stories.
A man, cobbler by trade was in dire straits and it was sever winter.  Urged by his wife he set out to collect dues from his clients so that they could have another warm coat instead of sharing one among the two.  But his mission was hardly successful.  Only a very few people paid their dues. That was not sufficient for a coat.  He thought of having a beer and returning.  Then he noticed a man, stark naked, shivering in the cold sitting in front of the Church.  He averted his eyes and went ahead for his beer. That having had, he returned only to find the man there.  He could not resists asking after his well being. He wouldn't say anything other than his name being Michael and having been cursed by God. He insisted on asking him to go home with him. At home, his wife was enraged and said that she would have nothing to do with him who has spent the earnings on drink, neglected necessities home and brought a vagabond home.  He was really chastised. However, he said humbly, Martha, for the love of God, pl take us in and give us food. When she heard that though not happily, she spread what she had before them. Then the MIchael's face brightened in a smile that was so consoling to all. He continued there, became Simon's assistant and got established. A rich man came with a high quality leather and asked to make a shoes which would really last long.  Simon entrusted the task to Michael and left to the town.  When Simon returned, he was aghast as the leather was cut for a soft shoe.  When he expressed his shock, there was a smile on Michael's face that lit up the whole house.  There arrived a messenger from the rich client saying that he met with his death on his return, and now what he required was a funeral shoe. After a while, a woman arrived at the shop with twin girls, and Michael's face was delighted with wonderment. When the woman saw that she responded saying the twins were not her daughters.  Their father had died before their birth and mother, on giving them birth.  Being left orphans, she took it upon herself to bring them up.  When he heard that for a third time, there was a heavenly smile on his face that was so consoling to all.  After they left, he revealed his identity to Simon and Martha.  I am an angel, cursed by God. I disobeyed God when asked to take the life of the mother of these kids, wondering how they would survive.  Then God sent me to earth as a punishment, asking me to find answer to three questions. I have found answers to the questions I have been assigned to find as part of my curse, and I am released!
The questions were:
What is there within humans? I have discovered it is Love, it is Love for God, or God itself!
What is uncertain about humans? It is death - when and how it would come. 
What guides humans? I know it's God's providence, which is Love, which is God itself.

So finally, does our education lead our children to God who is Love, to the right kind of friendships? Also, to the wisdom - nityanityavastu vivekam. ability to distinguish between what is passing, and what is lasting. Hence as said by Gandhiji, 'live as if you were to die tomorrow and  learn as if you were to live for eternity'.  (Naaleyennathilla nammal innu thanne nEdanaNam)
The friendships that should develop in our schools should be of many levels: The first of it is usually with peers - that is good.  Are we friends in deed? Do we have friends in need?  Do we learn from our friends to be better? paadam saha brahmacharyebhyah! One quarter of our learning has to happen through our company with friends.
However, there are very many times, when such friendships belie our expectations - there comes the significance of having God as our trusted friend; like Anna in the book, who calls upon God everyday, or any time, and say, Mr. God, this is Anna! God as a friend in need, and friend indeed.
In today's understanding our friendship circle - love circle ought to exceed the human circle to encompass the planet of which we are part of - being friendly with Mother Earth, sister plants, brother soil as St. Francis of Assissi did.  This is also our survival strategy as is being sung poignantly in the popular awakening song: ini varunnoru thalamurakku ivide vaasam sadhyamo?
As basically learners, our children ought to develop friendship with books. That to have books as their companion, to possess a book always to look into should become a habit, an indicator of a Christite.
Such habits will lead to further friendship of a learner - a friendship with some faithful friends who keep us learners, seekers: They are the faithful sevants of Rudyard Kipling: What, Who, Where and When, and on a higher plane How and Why with which we understand, discover and explain the world around us.
But when we step beyond these six, and befriend a seventh faithful, WHY-NOT, then we become Christ like - who create history, who change the course of life. We honour Kalam & Gandhi, but when we are able to stand up and ask beyond the hows and whys about phenomena to whynot-s of possibilities we begin to fill the voids such great people (mahatma) have left.  When we are willing to leave the trodden path and go it alone, we make a difference like Christ, who thought 'why should we kill our enemies, why not love them, and destroy the enmity? A learner is invited to such a challenging path of a seeker.
I will conclude this by narrating the story of such a seeker.  This story is placed against the context of corruption and discrimination that is being found and experienced in today's society. Our leaders become tainted, and that has come to be taken for granted.  Rohit Vemula is no more, and it is said that it is discrimination as a dalit that led him to take his life.  Against such context, we recall a seeker, Satyakaman.  He wanted to make friends with the world of letters, with the six faithful servants. However the deeksha is given only when he is able to tell his gotram and his father's name.  He had neither.  When he asked his mother, she told: Son, you tell them you are son of Jabala. Though embarassing, Satyakaman, as the name goes, didn't have any hesitation in giving the answer to Maharshi Gautaman: I am Satyakaman, son of Jabala.  Gautaman told him, you are a Brahmin, only a Brahmin can tell truth in that manner. He was accepted for deeksha.
In the classification of castes, Brahmin is said to be topping the classes - but take a cue from Gautama, we learn that 'brahmanyam'  is an acquired status and it is acquired by the ability to seek truth and tell truth, and that is a possibility for everyone. We grow from a low disposition to high as we embrace and cling to truth.
satyam vada, dharma cara - satyameva jayate! We should not have to regret like Dhrutharashtra at any  point saying, 'janami ca me dharamam na me pravrutti, janami adharamam na ca me nivrtti.' I knew the truth but I could not follow it, I knew the untruth, but I could not avoid it.
May Christ Central School have Christ at its centre, who claimed I am one with the Father, I am the truth. May the metamorphosis of MGM to Christ happen with the individual student, and may Christ rule their hearts and deeds leading them ever to the ever broadening horizon of truth.
I thank you for your patient listening. May God bless us all.

ILLNESS & WELLBEING

18 December 2015

The college has closed down for Christmas vacation.

Precisely on 15^th night, I had a minor discomfort on the right knee – just below the knee or/and on the left hand side of the right knee.  Still I managed to play basket ball, rather spiritedly.  However, in the morning, it was rather hurting and making it not so easy to walk.  However, though limping, managed to play.  It was worse off at night and in the morning. All the same, by evening, managed to do some massage and get ready for game.  Night it still got worse, and it was hurting.  Sitting in padmasana and walking was not easy.  Evening also it has continued.  There are two points of pain pressure.  On the left side of the right knee in a slight depression near the patella.  The next one appears to have a swelling (or is it a tumor?) and that is behind the knee joint, in the more fleshy area around knee. It’s hurting – especially while moving.

This was a time when my basket ball game – especially, shooting prowess, appeared to have registered phenomenal improvement.  For today, I did not play (Could not play).  And as I am entering retreat – a special type – walking around retreat – it may wither off, God willing!

Jan. 26, 2016 Tuesday

Happy Republic Day!

As I look back over the past one month plus of my health condition, I feel like being a republic – in spite of all oddities that have affected my self-rule over my own well-being! But also with some regret, I notice that I missed saluting the flag, and being part of the RD celebrations at the College, which have become stronger and healthier over the past few years!  Bharat Mata Ki Jai!

Back to my well-being, regrets apart, reluctant but inevitable rest (from games) not withstanding, the shooting pain at the knee only increased.  When I found some respite, I indulged in games 3 or 4 times during the period. 

By 20^th it was really hurting and our campus overseer of health, Dr. Raju, even without getting my consent got an appointment with the orthopaedician at Medical Trust on Thursday.  It all got over soon.  Dr. Vipin Theruvil, got his expert fingers on a spot and asked if it was hurting, when I responded in affirmative, he said it was likely that the meniscus had some injury.  X-Ray revealed nothing special. Doctor advised rest for a week, some balm, or treatment with warm water and salt, and if no improvement after a week, come back for an MRI scan and further treatment. Good friend and Heartian, M.A. Joseph, the hospital physiotherapist told if doctor’s opinion were the case, then it would require rest, even from biking, as I remarked that biking was more comfortable than walking.

Two days gone, the pain gradually increased.  And on Sunday, as I got up, to get ready for morning mass, the knee was severely hurting making it difficult even to walk.  However, it was too late for anyone to be called upon to entrust the mass.  I managed to get across to the monastery, have bath, prepare a few lines of notes for sermon, and managed to be in time for 7 am Mass, my movement making it obvious that there was something wrong.   I asked the server to put the chair close to me so that I didn’t have to take 3 steps back to get seated.  Sermon over, the mass progressed, but after consecration, I was feeling very uncomfortable – a fear began to lurk within me that I may fall down – darkness was spreading ‘in my eyes’ and I was not altogether unfamiliar with such instances.  However, to have to stop the mass mid-way would have been disastrous! I prayed that I be strengthened to complete the mass.  Somehow rushed through intercessory prayers and epiclesis and entered penitentiary rites.  Then I felt I would collapse.  I held on to the altar, and sat down in the chair – perhaps just in time to avert a fall. I perspired profusely and asked the  altar server for some water, it was quickly brought.  Bless God, the discomfort passed, perhaps it took a minute or two, but I was back on my feet, though not in full vigour.  Got help for holy communion and  I remained seated during that time, recovering.  For the last prayers, I was back to normal and expressed my regret to the congregation. 

In a way, I was happy that no one cared to come over and ask what happened.  Perhaps, they didn’t realize.  But on reflection, I feel a little surprised – if they realized, does no body care?  Is this a dilemma?  Because, when people show care/concern/solicitude, I generally feel irritated. But when no body cares, then I think, doesn’t any body care! But, then, I affirm and say, ‘I -  don’t -  care’!

Similar case continues – I am not happy to have people bothered about my being sick, and I feel rather okay, if no body asks questions about my illness, happier, if they don’t come to visit.  Perhaps, it is a reaction developed over the years.  I have seen people being hurt, sentimental and even making accounts of who all visited or didn’t visit them when they were ill. I felt that if someone visited out of goodness it is good.  Now a days, it is becoming more of a formality – that you ought to visit, whether you care or not is a different matter.  It is good manners, curtsey.   It has made me determined to have no visitors if I were sick (which I hardly ever happen to be) and cause least disturbance to others on my account.  On the other hand, I also agree that these are the ways in which we show our concern, care, fellowship etc. and can derive the comfort of support from others.  So from my end, I thought I would try my level best to have them enquired after or visited if my colleagues, confreres, neighbors, family were to take ill, but expect the least of that sort towards me.  Now it has come to a point where I feel irritated at such show of interest.   On the other hand, my curtsey calls are also very typical – though I am aware of it, I am not able to do otherwise – I log in, don’t browse for long, log out.  At times, it goes to the level of mere register entries.  One thing, I generally assure is that they are in my prayers – however, weak or minimal they are.  At times, I have a written list which I go through in prayer.

Responses like what some of friends have - do really come from heart – from a natural concern.  Without seeking our consent or permission making arrangements in such a way that you are forced to go – perhaps, making it a very timely intervention.  It’s the second time that Raju had taken such an initiative, and had proven it beneficial to me.  Three years ago, when I was afflicted with a recurring fever, and I had gone on my own by bicycle – he came after me, and after the first assessment by Dr. Pattam to go for further tests, insisted on taking me to the testing centre. 

Perhaps, I also feel the thrill of being the brave (bravado), macho man, who is able to put up with any adversity – and also publicise the same.  As I often say to the students, ‘if not born tough, trained or made tough’.  And I feel  rather proud about that – Thus in spite of the hurting knee, I managed to trek all the way up and down, almost invariably in front, to Meenoliyanpara – almost 11 kms and at 2500 ft above sea level!!  And that too, with my worn out chappals, not even a pair of shoes. (Likely that it made the matters worse)

Diagnosis and Treatment

After the holy mass episode on Sunday, I tried other methods  - had the area bandaged, put on a knee cap, tried to lie down – none of these seemed to help.  I indicated to Fr. Prior that I may need to go to hospital, and he responded that perhaps, it may be good to go to Rajagiri to the orthopaedician Dr. Murugan Babu.  As the pain was not getting abated, I enquired with Fr. Austin, and he suggested that I go there without wasting time, that there will be someone or other to take care, even if it were Sunday.

Thus a quick decision was arrived at, and accompanied by Melbin the I DC scholastic, Johnson took me to Rajagiri Hospital. Oh boy, it was really hurting.  And I struggled to get out of the car, and was carried on a wheel chair.  I liked the way in which the emergency medicine responded.  In no time, registration, initial check up, and the decision to go for an MRI – vow!! What  I am hearing about Rajagiri as a Caring King (rather,  King of Carers) appears to be true.  Sure, being a CMI, being also a member of the Governing Body (wonder whether anyone knows that) may be making some difference.  But generally, good things being told about Rajagiri, I felt,  were genuine.  As said about Jesus, ‘He does all things well’

Fortunately, I could meet the senior consultant Dr. Murugan in the afternoon.  He looked at MRI, confirmed the meniscus tear, but expressed fear regarding the knee bone – whether there was some deterioration in its health.  He agreed to do the surgery on Monday itself, perhaps towards evening though it was not his turn for surgery.  Later on, I was told that we could have it done at 7 am and I had to be on fast from mid-night – a simple matter for me.

Had a good veg lunch from the canteen and kanji & chammanti for supper.  Morning all set with those hospital dress for operation.  But by 10 am news arrived that it could be done only in the evening, and I was permitted to have breakfast.  Had 2 sandwiches and an omelet.  At 3.30 shifted to OP.  Initial check ups done.  Then I don’t know when it all happened.  I had seen the two anaesthetists – Dr. Annie & Dr. Salini – giving instructions to the team (even reprimanding) and introducing the procedure to me, then some pricking with some needles around the backbone near hip, then a period of sleep, I woke up to see dimly lit OT with a screen on my left side and doctor Murugan or Tom (not sure) giving instructions and also narrating to me what is happening.  He showed me the knee junction, the two major bones, the stuffings in between, ligaments.  The cartilaginous meniscus and its damaged section and some unevenness on the bone showing slight damage.  That wakeful state lasted perhaps for half an hour, and then I don’t recall what happened.  I woke up to see myself in post-operative room for some time, and I was further shifted to surgical ICU, in a special cell.

Later, I came to know that the medical team was a bit confused seeing my BP dip low one time, and pulse rate consistently showing around 45/p m.  Later they realized that I generally had a low pulse rate (55/pm).  I had never come across such low pulse rate ever. Once the doctor came for regular rounds in the morning, after assessing this matter, and the condition of the knee, he said I could be shifted to the room and could be discharged by afternoon.

Against my desire, I had to give in and had to have medicines as prescribed by the doctor.  I think I was given 6 doses of paracetamol (cobimol) IV, some sedatives.  The last injection, I forgot what it was, was given with some kind of an antidote (?).  The nurse told me that it may cause nausea.  Any how, after that, I did feel kind of dizzy, slur in speech, irritation of skin (which is continuing even now after almost 5 hours).  After the initial day, I lost keeping track of the medicines, though they were not very many.  Now I am given two pills for next five days – Lypen – D for morning and evening and Pantocid for morning.  The detailed discharge summary was interesting.   To my lay eyes it all appeared good, as everything was between the limits, except uric acid which was 7.4 above the prescribed level of 7.2. Doctor promised to discuss this in our next meeting.   I have, at my level started drinking more water – thinking it would dilute the uric acid!!

At Rajagiri, I was greeted with the good news that our good friend, Fr. Varghese afflicted with GBS is gradually on his way back to recovery.  A brother of one of our priests in Bijnor (Fr. Justin) who was brutally attacked by a band of professional killers, was out of danger.  In this past one month, Rajagiri treated quite a number of CMIs and most of them are doing really well – Fr. Sylvester (85) knee replacement, Fr. Sepharin (75) – prostate, Fr. George (65) – prostate, Fr. Palatty – by-pass,  Fr. Alex – heart treatment, Fr. Joy – heart treatment, Fr. Pius – critically ill –ocular cancer, Fr. Pynadath, Fr. Charles, Br Reju scholastic (juvenile diabetes , low BP)!! The list may be longer!

This gave me occasion to confront what I thought would be very embarrassing kind of situations – dressing and undressing related to treatment, a very difficult situation regarding passing urine after operation, finally having had to take recourse to catheter, once.  Finally, when it all came to pass, you take it in its stride.  They happen and you move on. 

When I make use of such facilities and take them for granted, I am bound to think of the vow of poverty as well. It did occur to me.  So I did weigh the options (but, I have options, whereas many others don’t have). We justify it by costs in terms of our service and time.  My decision to go for a medical insurance (now uninterrupted over 10 years), perhaps taxes the congregation less, or make it affordable for a lower or middle middle class person.  My last treatment of similar nature, one night at MAJ Edappally, was thus funded by the insurance company.  I hope this time also it works out similarly.  Perhaps, that was a worldly wise decision enabling me to strike balance between vow of poverty and affording modern medical services.  As the age increases, perhaps, I may have to think of a higher coverage.  I don’t know what the bills have come up to.  My coverage as of now is for Rs. 50000.00

But to the medical care team – the task is really tough – to have the right balance between technical accuracy, human care.  And I felt that they were doing well – especially, the doctors and the nurses.  The organizing of care at Rajagiri appeared really good – you feel good about being there.  The facilities are good, the reception and the treatment are good, the costs are competitive, if not moderate.  The high risk venture we have entered into, and the many deliberations we have had on care, social justice, gospel etc. appear to be bearing fruit.  Sacred Heart the great healer is hopefully guiding us, and the Chavara spirit is sustaining us.  I think the CMIs there are putting up a real good show of early Christian Community – the team work which has seen the emergence of a centre of caring and healing, rather than medical business.  I hope the Ultimate Carer and Healer will see to it that the effort is sustained.  Though I feel unhappy for having to undergo treatment, I feel happy to have had a first hand experience of our care!!

I am back – for the time being I have been advised to remain on the ground floor, and I have obeyed, though I have no problem in climbing up.  Fr. Prior was very solicitous – he saw to this arrangement on his own initiative, and said food will be brought to the room, which I said was unnecessary. I have never had this, even when I had a broken ankle as a seminarian.  Then he said that car will drop me at the porch of the college in the morning. Though I felt that this was unnecessary,  I have agreed to this, lest it be too much of a show off.  I am glad for CMI community with all its limitations as an artificial community, which tries to consciously practice Christ’s care among themselves, and hopefully, beyond their limited circle as well.