PALAKKAPPILLIL XAVIER THRESSIAMMA - THEYYAMMA, MY MOTHER

Dec. 11, 2022 Sunday: Three years quickly went by - and almost all those years under the grip of COVID.  Ammachi departed just before that.  Today, I had plans to go to her tomb and offer prayers, and even join the parish mass. Only later did I realise, when Jayachechi pointed out, that it was a Sunday.  So I was not sure.  When I finally made up my mind, it was too late for the second mass, and it was indeed raining heavily.  So I planned to join the evening mass of the parish.  But heavy rains again sent my plans chowpat, however, with some effort, I managed to to reach just before 6 pm and Kunjechi, Desichettan, Rajettan, Nisha and Paul were waiting there.  I led a shortened version of the office for the dead, and at the mass, remembered her briefly before the congregation.  May she rest in the Lord's joy! 

July 3, 2022 Sunday. 

This is a great feast for Syrian Christians - They call it 'memorial day' (dukharana) - the memorial of their father in faith.  St. Thomas is a very distinct and unique character in the Bible (gospels) - having doubts, raising questions, making daring statements, utter great statements of faith etc.  If the tradition that he came to India and proclaimed the good news of Jesus is true, it is indeed a great feat, a great adventure for those times, and literally fulfilling his promise: 'let us go and die with him' (Jn 11:12).  In 2022, I get to know that the Christ followers of India have come together since 2021 to observe this day as Indian Christian Day (Jesu Bhakta Diwas) stressing the presence of Christianity on Indian soil from the very first century, and its significance as part and parcel of the Indian cultural mosaic. It is heartening to see this, though it is likely that the fear of suppression and attack on the various forms/groups of Christians around the country might have led to this unity, though Jesus himself is seen to be praying that 'they be all one' (Jn 17: )

For me, personally, the day has double significance, as it happens to be the birthday of my mother (ammachi) as well. She was born on July 3, 1933.  Had she been on this planet today, she would have been 89, entering 90! But she departed from all of us on Dec. 11, 2019, after being unresponsive and bed-ridden for almost five years (since January 2014).  Most likely she was named after St. Therese of Lisieux, as her name had become very popular by then, though she was not yet raised to the honour of the altars.  But in the closer family and friends circle, she was Theyyamma. 

She was the second eldest among the eight siblings born to Abraham and Rosamma.  Abraham was a fiercely independent, outspoken, but caring and kind to the poor sort of person of the Kochery family of Thycattussery (or Kari, across the Vempanad).  He had some difference of opinion with his family or parents, and left his ancestral home with his wife, came to Thycattussery, and got a small land property from Thaliyadil families (most likely a Hindu Ezhava family) and decided he wouldn't use his ancestral family name.  He is greatly admired by his children for his boldness, spirit of adventure and care.  It is told that he had to swim across a section of the backwaters, and he was caught in the jaws of a crocodile and yet managed to escape, with a terrible wound on his thigh.  I am struck that I never got the curiosity to ask him to show that mark or perhaps, I learnt this after his death.  By the time he died, my family was complete - all of us siblings were born. But his youngest daughter Leelamma still remained to be married.  It was Joy chettan (our cousin), who brought the news home, and Ammachi asked the few of us who were there to get ready, as Appan was sick.  Then Ummamma secretly told me 'poyi' - that he was gone. So I knew that already.  As we travelled, crossed the river by the country boat (kadathu vallam), I could sense the anticipation in ammachi, she was almost hurrying, and on reaching home and finding appan dressed up in the coffin, she went out of control, and was crying aloud, calling out 'appa'.  Perhaps, that was one of the two occasions I had found her emotionally out of control. 

His eldest daughter, Thankamma, who was said to be a very intelligent girl, was afflicted with illness quite common in those times (jwaram), and died at the young age of 15.  None of us, the grandchildren of Abraham (Appan) and Rosamma (Vellyammachi), has seen her. 

My mother would have been third in the order, had Thankamma been alive.  Thressiamma was said to be smart in her studies, and rather good in singing, being part of the Church choir of those times.  But as our Vellyammachi got incapacitated to freely move around, on account of an accident at home, where her right leg was thoroughly damaged having pierced with broken pieces of glass of a lamp, as she fell down from a stool onto the broken pieces, with them almost severing her leg around the knee.  She had to be rushed (!) to the the general hospital in Ernakulam, by country boat, rowing almost 30 kilometers! And in spite of all that, she survived, the leg was stitched in one piece, but the ability to move around normally being lost.  She continued faithfully her duty of being a Christian mother, giving birth to 2 or 3 more children!!

But her being thus incapacitated and requiring assistance at home, most likely, put an end to my mother's formal education, completing just fifth grade. Perhaps, in those days, they got reconciled to all that easily. I wonder whether she regretted that in her life later.  However, most of her contemporaries in Perumanoor-Thevara hardly had any better achievements on this front. And in spite of her very limited schooling, she was always quick to grasp, and never discontinued reading - though perhaps her reading was limited to Deepika daily, Satyadeepam, Amma Masika, Snehasena, Kutumbadeepam, and perhaps, occasional Malayala Manorama Weekly (borrowed from our friendly neighbour Geeta chechi). 

So after a stint of perhaps 5 or 6 years managing home front as the senior daughter and also ably assisting at the tea-shop (chayakkada) which served puttu, appam, some other palaharams, perhaps, things like neyyappam, pazham pori, (from my vague guess - meals were not there!), she was married off to my father, Palakkappillil Lonan Xavier, who had lost his father at a young age, and had grown to be an independent and self made, but a handsome young man, with only a widowed mother and a younger sister as his immediate relatives. None of us bothered to research regarding how this proposal came to be.  Perhaps, our Vellichayan would be able to shed some light on this. 

She had come with my father, usually called Kunju, in a country boat, all the way from Thycattussery to Thevara, and became a daughter of Perumanoor for the rest of her life. It was perhaps a very ordinary, lower middle class family, with just a small house in a 25 cent property.  I think there was never lack of food, but there would hardly have been anything saved, any luxury.  Fifteen or 16 years later, the times when I can recall as a toddler, our home was good enough for a standard middle class home of those days.  We had 3 more house in the same plot, which were given out on rent, from which we earned some income. 

Ichayan was an unseen figure, as he used to be on work somewhere else, as assistant to some big time contractor Vallakkali of Kozhanchery region.  And each of his arrival marked something new to the home... Once it was a series of toilets with septic tanks, which were just becoming fashionable then.  Enough for all the families on the plot, and as per the traditions of those times, away from the houses, towards the edge of the plot.  Another time, it was a radio.  I don't recall a time when our house didn't have running water or electricity.  All these were achieved and some financial discipline was brought in, I trust thanks to ammachi's efficient management of the family. 

By that time, we had some landed properties in Thycattussery, two smaller ones in Thuthiyoor and I recall how ammachi used to go to Thuthiyoor (just about 20 kms away, but quite a distance in those days, with just one erratic bus plying in that direction), come back bringing with her sack full of tapioca, which were planted there.  (That didn't last long.  Within a few years, my elder brother and me took over the management of those plots).  She would also ensure that some banana variety (chundilla kannan) is planted on our tiny plot yielding some very delicious fruit periodically.  She also planted cheera or pavakka (bitter gourd) or some sort of peas (valan payar, chathura payar, amarapayar), or nityavazhuthana or  pappaya to ensure some homegrown stuff are available seasonally from the plots around the house.  However, it could only be called a culture.  For,  most of the time, our vegetable needs were met from the nearby market. (But now, after almost four decades, I see that most of us siblings have taken earnestly to producing homegrown vegetables, and surprisingly, much more effectively). She also tended a grape vine (perhaps, contributed by her sister-in-law who was always keen to do something good for her sister-in-law, and the family, whenever she visited us from her convent usually far away from Kochi), which yielded some fruits, though sour.  Soon, my elder sisters, especially the eldest one, began to support her in the management of household, in daily chores of cooking, washing clothes, collecting rent, checking the electricity meter reading etc...

In those days, when we had some yield home-grown, especially, banana, ammachi used to share the same with our neighbours living in our rented buildings. 

I also recall her effort to raise a goat, perhaps with the intention of managing the milk requirements home - I don't know - we raised it.  My brother and I had to get grass from the wayside grass seller... there was struggle to milk the goat... perhaps, my eldest sister also got trained in that... But all that didn't last long.  (We got this goat from Ichayan's friends, Xavier Chettan.  When we brought it from their home, about a kilometre away, they did not ask any money, or when we enquired with Theyyamma chedathi, she just brushed that aside. I was glad and when I reported the matter to ammachi, she said that it should not be so.  It is always better that the amount due is paid, that there is no such liability, later.  I trust she did make that payment)

There was a bread-fruit tree, growing very well in front of the house, beginning to bear fruit, and she said, that was causing some drain in the family income - as it is kadaplavu, it was bringing in debt, and it needed to be felled.  I countered her.  She asked me to consult the parish priest. When I asked the parish priest about it, he gave some vague answer, saying that in thachushaastram there is some such reference, if the tree was on the North side of the house... I reported the matter to mom.  Though the tree was on the western side, it was cut. And apparently, the stress disappeared. 

Among her peers, she was a guide and had a way of instilling discipline with some of them, and supporting and guiding them.  She had the good will to support her siblings, two of them remaining at home and completing their higher education, and providing opportunities for the children of her siblings, as and when required, to come and stay at the comparatively more urban centre of Kochi, to learn and complete their studies. She had taken initiative or played supportive role in getting marital alliances for her younger sister and the first cousin of Ichayan, both of whom were gradually getting beyond the marriageable age.  It is a matter of gladness that both the marriages survived the storms of times, and remained stable, and fulfilling. 

Home Management

Apparently, ichayan left her fully in command of the family management.  Thus she was truly a 'home maker'.  It think decision regarding what our names should be was all her decision.  Perhaps, Rajettan was christened as Antony, as he was the first boy born after a line of four girl children, and  perhaps, the fruit of a special intercession through St. Antony.  I was named after my grandfather, John, but apparently, ammachi felt, St. Thomas our apostle also should be respected, giving me a rare combination of baptismal name, of John Thomas; the next one was after my maternal grand-father; and the last one, after apostle St. Paul. My eldest sister, perhaps after St. Alphonsa, to whom devotion was gaining strength in those days; and the next one after my maternal grandma, Rosamma, and third one after Maria Goretti, a very popular young saint of those times. I feel in this case, my paternal grandmother was not given any consideration - though I would say that they got along well; with some fight only regarding not letting my grandma do some work like splitting firewood, or trying to help out with some household chore.  I felt that she took good care of ummamma. 

She seemed to have the last say, as far as the education of the children was concerned - perhaps, the only other instances were that of my elder brother joining Rajagiri School and later, Engineering College, (his own initiative), and that of my younger brother joining Sainik school, which, was perhaps, solely Ichayan's initiative. It was she who decided that I would go to St. Augustine's school when I finished fourth grade. She felt that I should at least read in the English Medium, and our neighbouring SH school didn't have English medium instruction till VIII grade. Hence the choice. The money earned from Ichayan's work or rent, were all managed by Ammachi, in a very thrifty manner, that we were never in shortage of what we needed and perhaps, it helped all of us to lead a life of minimum needs, while not being miserly or stingy in our financial dealings. 

She learnt to stitch, perhaps, with the help of Aetty, our aunt.  Naturally, this was also intended to save money.  She could cut the clothes and stitch them.  And she did manage to do that for all the children, including the boys, till we were into middle school. Yes, the shirts for boys did not have that precision required, however, it was just the limited training that she had received in this matter. 

I recall, it was standard practice for her to make payasam on birthdays.  this, was a very rare practice in the families of our circles those days. Later, it got sophisticated into making semiya payasam, considered a step ahead than the typical rice or payar-parippu payasam.  Then it occurred to her to make an offer to the birthday boy or girl, to make the choice - payasam or a sweet dish of his/her choice - like jalebi (jilebi - those days) or laddu (ladu). 

I think she had a very good way with cooking - her fish curries, meat curries, vegetable thoran, chammanti, coconut chutney that was served along with dosa/iddli,  pickles... all of these had a special taste.  She knew the right combination that would tickle the taste buds. I hope some of it has been transferred to my sisters as well - though I am not all that sure. I remember the simple way in which she used to prepare tapioca (kappa), as an evening snack, plain-boiled, but with the right combination of salt & pepper - it used to taste very well.  The only item she taught me to cook - was the preparation of tea! I grew beyond her in that - and I know how to prepare varieties of tea, perhaps, much better than what we used to get at home. 

When we were all grown up, we thought that there should be some giving back and established a small scholarship at St Thomas school, where all of us had studied.  She managed it on behalf of all us in a systematic manner.  Perhaps, in the later stages, my younger brother, Paul, took charge of it. 

One thing she was not reconciled with was that of Ichayan's habit of drinking.  He used to have a regular quota of some alcohol or other - country liquor or western - in company of his friends.  Some days, there used to be some small scale fight on that account, which went totally out of control once, with loud shouting and shrieking, and Ichayan was kind of cornered. I felt odd and went out of the house.  But on reflection, I feel that there wasn't that much to be getting angry with or getting put off.  Ichayan was never angry with her or others just because he had consumed alcohol.  When, on some occasion, I said something blaming Ichayan (I can't recall what it was) in his absence, I remember ammachi defending him and admiring him for being a husband who never made a complaint about the food or its taste. 

Social Involvement & the World Beyond our Town

Thanks to the initiative of our dynamic parish priest of those times, Fr. Peter Chirayath, (who later defrocked himself to lead a family life, actively in union with the Church; may his soul rest in peace!), she and Ichayan, had some experience of the world outside our district,  joining the two pilgrimages organised by the parish - first one to Velankanni and the second one to Goa.  I feel grateful to him for that! May his soul rest in peace!

The only other outing she might have had was that of going to Idukki with Ichayan and his cousin's family, to visit Fr. Augustus CMI (his cousin), who was busy establishing a CMI centre at what used to be a remote village in the not so hospitable terrains of high ranges, at tenth mile, closer to Kattappana. I remember how we had once gone to a pilgrimage to Vallarparadam, which was then accessible only by boat. Ichayan had arranged some 'vacation programme' for us twice - once for Rajettan & me, at the scenic location of Konni, a civil work across the beautiful Achankovil river; and another exclusively for me, at Nellimala, another beautiful place near Kozhenchery.  But, those days, it never occured to him to take Ammachi and show his worksites. which would have been a fabulous experience for her, I believe. 

I deeply regret that none of us could fulfil her dream of having a ride of airplane, though this could have very easily been done.  But by then, she was already aging and having advanced problems of Parkinsonism. 

The only active forum she was part of was that of mathrusangham of the mothers of the parish.   After my departure from home joining the CMI congregation, she was seen to be more involved in the sangham, gradually becoming its leader for a fair amount of time.  Perhaps, by then she got more time, with many of us leaving home, and younger ones being able to take care of themselves. She was closely associated with some of the sisters, especially, Sr. Rosario SD in this connection.  I think they had a very good relationship, which sister recalled when I visited her after several years, as she was confined to wheel chair. Ammachi was still alive then, though she had also become confined to bed and almost non-responsive, whereas sister was still sharp with her memory. Sister was the class teacher of a few of our siblings, and was well known for her piercing pinches which served as a corrective measure for her students. 

Ammachi used to wear the traditional chatta and mundu, though she had been of that generation when the big mekka mothiram, a traditional earring, was no longer fashionable. Being stuck to the smoky kitchen, which fire wood as the basic fuel source (gradually, we had the hybrid status - with some amount of cooking managed on kerosene stove; it was only after my departure from home, it had the facility of gas stove - but that used to be the standard all around), and with small kids to be taken care of, her dress within the domestic circle used to be shabby.  I recall having seen her dressed in a fairly white and clean chatta and mundu,  I was curious to know from her, if she was going out.  This amused her much, and she got the meaning of it - that generally her dress was shabby; and a neater dress, to me implied that she had to go out of the house!

It was thanks to me, that she switched to what was modern and fashionable - to saree, at the age of 55! While I was completing my undergraduate studies at Najibabad, my uncle organised a trip involving Ichayan and Ammachi and my younger sister.  It was a life-time opportunity for them to travel to the North of India.  It was sometime in October or so.  That journey made her to shift to saree, and there was no going back.  And the home-wear began to be maxi, the loosely worn gown, which had become a popular wear for women at home. On this trip, I could take them to the nearest hill station of Lansdown, which was too cold for their standards then. We also had a trip to Delhi, where they could visit with her reputed cousin, V.M. Marangoly, working with Malayala Manorama. 

My younger brother, Saju, was a medical student in Bangalore, and he had constant problem of sinusitis, requiring surgical procedures and hospitalisation.  That made them travel to Bangalore a few times. Once they visited me as well, coming to know that I had a fracture of the ankle bone.  

Health Hazards

Her first instance of health issues occurred with the replacement of her teeth with a new set.  That happened when she was in her 40s! That put an end to the frequent bouts of toothache. It was some time around the late 70s,  she must have been in his mid forties, when she got her ear drum injured, as she tried to clear the ear, using the thin stick of the traditional coconut  (stick) broom (irkil).  I recall it was a major trouble for her in those days, but later on, it was overcome, it seems. 

In 1990, she had the first encounter with cancer.  It was affecting her thyroid (Pappillary Thyroid Carcinoma??).  It was detected timely, thanks to the intervention of our eldest brother in law I think - the thyroid had to be removed, but she was able to survive without great trouble. Thyroxin supplement had to be taken.  She used to have periodic  examinations at Cancer centre, Trivandrum, to check whether there was any sign of cancer. She survived rather well, for about 2 decades. 

In 2001 December, we celebrated the golden jubilee of their wedding in a befitting manner. They both appeared healthy and happy.  But in 2012, though they were still alive and able to move about, it was no longer their pleasant selves.  Both of them had become weaker.  However, we managed to have a small scale family get together with a mass celebrated at the monastery chapel, followed by a simple meal at the college canteen. 

After Effects, Suffering

But in about 15 years since the detection of cancer, the impact of the external supplement for thyroid was seen, with her developing Parkinson's disease.  Now she had to have two types of medication - thyroxin supplement and the one to control Parkinson's.  Gradually, medication had to be increased to allow minimum mobility.  As the medication increased, she began to have hallucinations. She would see devils laughing at her from the wall.  When we said to her, 'amma, they are not there!', she responds, 'yes, I know they are not there; but still I am seeing them!!'  If the medication was taken off, there would be no hallucinations, but then the body remains very stiff, and she would not be able to move about, or sit straight. 

I am afraid, she never got reconciled with this stage her life.  Loss of control on one's life was perhaps shattering, and she began to be very negative in her responses, especially to the two daughters-in-law who happened to be in her company.  It was very stressful for all of us to reconcile with the unimaginable sort of transformation in a woman who was loving, caring, powerful, controlled, and above all, possessing great amount of understanding.  I have heard her say, when we were young: Don't think of depending on your children!! She used to narrate the story of a hardworking father, who visited the daughter, and how he was being served frugal meal, which they had misunderstood as the most favourite food for their father, a means he deployed for cost-cutting at home front! The story implied that the children didn't really realise the sacrifices the parents did to make both ends meet. When she was still in her senses, once I asked her - you used to tell not to count on your children for support; now do you feel thus?  She was very realistic: When you grow old, you feel helpless and you have no choice but to depend on others!! I would have preferred the other way about.  The strong woman had disappeared. 

Those were the years, when the brothers and sisters around started taking care of them by turns - usually, taking them to their own places - to Perinthalmanna, to Chalakkudy, Maradu, and even to Kozhikode, besides the family home at Perumanoor.  The last of such trips together was in 2014.  And they came back by January or February of 2015.  I came to know that ammachi was not keeping well at all. But I had been bit too busy those days.  Vavachayan (our uncle) and my cousin Fr. Joseph went home and annointed as per the sacramental rites.  We thought she would not last long.  But the next month, Ichayan who was otherwise fine, except for his failing memory, departed suddenly, while having his breakfast.  And ammachi didn't even realise that. 

After that, she could never be back to a life of any amount of normalcy - almost five years of being confined to bed - initially, she would open her eyes and be responsive at times, gradually, her eyes remained shut all through, it was a vegetative life with hardly any response, though certain occasions or persons evoked some positive responses.  Prayer time was usually responded to, so too when certain persons were announced, even some responses of recollection could be seen.  I travelled with my close friends to Perinthalmanna on July 3rd 2019, on her 86th birthday and offered mass at her bedside.  I think that was the last time I saw her alive. 

My sisters and brothers, especially, younger brother Saju, our representative in medical field (besides our two brothers-in-law), took really good care of her.  I would have been practical enough to suggest that we assign her to a care home, and attend to her regularly, as it was really tough for the smaller families to take care of a bed-ridden person requiring full time assistance. The well paid care-givers, rarely matched our expectations, though there were exceptions.  In spite of all odds, the family, especially, Saju,  persisted, and persevered, giving her all the care possible at that time. 

When he called up on Dec. 11, 2019 to convey that she had departed, I was grateful to God, for the release - on such occasions, death is really felt as 'mukti'.  I had no sorrow whatsoever, as I was praying for her release.  I should say that she was spared the ordeals of COVID, and passing away, just before the onset of COVID, she had the privilege of all concerend beng able to come, and pay their last respects to her. 

Looking back, I remember how she managed a big home, and helped us all grow, in spite of the severe limitations in our resources, and never letting us feel deprived on any count, nor interfering too much in anyone's life or choices.  Even she hardly ever insisted that we sit down and study. 

With both of them growing in age, and almost finding no meaningful engagement at home, I strongly felt the need for community services that took care of the elders - day centres where the senior citizens of the locality could come, meet, chat, read or eat together, play games and return back home in the evening. Wherever I got opportunity, I felt that a combination of Anganwadi with arogyawadi for the elders coming together, interacting, playing and eating together would have been a very useful community resource. Yes, indeed, now some elite services affordable only for the HIG are on the offer; and some of them fulfill these needs very well.  But, beyond such business models, community based service models, even requiring some reasonable cost recovery charges, are the need of the reality of population aging!

Talking to Fame - Qatar Talks

'Don't talk' was the repeated instruction I got in the school.  I was an average student - very ordinary.  But I used to talk a lot. Now that one thing has given me fame, and earning me good money,"  the RJ Mastmaula Gaurav of Radio Mirchi, Doha, revealed adding his flavour to the sumptuous spread of wit and wisdom on the feast Grand Finale of 'the Qatar Talks' at Giwana Ballroom, Radisson Blu Hotel, Doha. 

It was its 17th edition, and happening in the face to face mode after the killer Corona had begun its tandav two years ago.  There were separate inspirational and humorous contests for the adult and youth categories.  The finalists were chosen after the elimination round held earlier.   While the youth (students of XII grade or below) were allowed free entry in the contest, the adults were supposed to pay a nominal registration fee of QR 50.

There were 85 contestants in the preliminary of whom 26 (Youth 7 +7 and Adult 6 + 6) were the finalists in all categories put together. The norms : 1 mt for preparation - microphone &  props (if any) settings; the speaker had to speak for a minimum of 5 minutes and shouldn't exceed 7 minutes and 30 seconds.  Less than the minimum or more than the maximum would imply disqualification. There were 2 people posted for time keeping and the speaker would be given 3 visible signals regarding the time. 

A jumbo panel of four judges for each category was there, led by a chief judge Pavithra Philip (most likely a Malayalee, with that 'h' added to make it Pavitra).  Each contest had a separate chief - a youngster with some credit-worthy social/academic background. Both the panel of judges and the contestants were international -  representing Arab, Indian, Srilankan, Philippino, African nationalities.  Besides the panelists, there was a separate popular voting as well, for determing the best in each category.  There was the elegant Lornalyn T Tallod as the Master (?) of Ceremonies. 

To my great satisfaction, in 3 categories my judgement was same as that of the judges.  Surprisingly, the popular voting and the expert judgement coincided in all categories. When it came to the awards - for the winners it was showers of fabulous prizes - the microphone shaped trophy, a watch, a trolley suitcase and a cheque for 5000 QR for the first prize winner, and QR 1000 for the third prize winner.  And pictures with the sponsors and the judges... What a fabulous treat. And consolation prizes for all the finalists!

All the speakers - most of them very young, except the two award winning seniors Mr. Solanki and Mr. Sebastian in the adult (humorous) category, had become familar with that elite audience and also gaining a space in their minds. I felt like inviting some of the speakers to interact with the students, perhaps, deliver the same speech for them - the adult winner - Shareef Mihlar on belief in miracles, Roshan Sukheja on pursuing your goals, Ibtissam Khamlichi on finding your passion, the towering Sahitya Reddy on quitting is not an option! Among the youth, I felt Adarsh Nair stood out for his wise & witty humour on the things he loves, with his intertwining Indo-American identities.  I met his father Ram Mohan Nair! I also felt our former student Venus Rinith also did very well.

What was most noticeable was all of them depended on their personal experiences and lives as the focal point - some of them with a ring of sincerity, others evidently imaginative, but still engaging. They were trying to make people laugh or think at their expense!  As the old time public speaking tip would go: base your speech on what you know. And good many of them, tried to put to use their kinesthetic,  histrionic and mimicry skills to make their delivery more emphatic. I felt on humour front to grow to a level of make people laugh spontaneously is not an easy task - unless you have a sportive audience, sitting there to give into laughter at the least provocation - the Birla team of Jaya was doing just that.  And the award ceremony, with the founder convener M.I. Farid himself in the control of events, leading them all with great ease and spontaneity, in spite of being lengthy, was bearable, even when you had the least involvement.  The lucky-draw for the participants added to its charm - miraculously, with judges turning out to be among the most lucky people; and Divneet Kaur Sirin's family turning tremendously lucky winning 3 prizes including a contestant second prize. 

FM1 Jockey Intisar Adam who was guiding the prize distribution in the adult category pointed out the possibilities in 'talking to fame' and 'earning by hours' for your ability to talk - talk - talk.... That was not all that imaginable when we were initiated into the art of public speaking as school children some 4 decades back. Looked back with nostalgia for those by-gone days, but never having had any such great stage available. I wonder whether any thing comparable is available anywhere in India, though our Sacred Heart Speakers' forum did provide some prestigious avenue through its flagship programme 'sargapatham'. 

A great event - fabulous crowd, generous sponsors, elevating entertainment, convivial company, delectable delicacies! We Rajagirians, who also happened to be among the sponsors, departed with some satisfaction, with 3 of our brilliant youngsters making their presence in the youth categories, and Ruth (inspirational) and Kevin (humorous) bagging third prize in their respective events. 

Qatar Talks - face book

Licence Story 2 - Getting a Driving Licence - in Doha, Qatar

A driving licence in Qatar is not an ordinary thing - it is extra-ordinary.  It's kind of a dream - though not an unrealisable one - and there are thousands of the Indians residing in Qatar who have realised, but good many of them - after quite an ordeal!

First of all, the cost involved in securing one is almost prohibitive - the normal channel is a driving school. And a driving school here is some real school!!  The process is cumbersome - in spite of all its faults, it does ensure some basic frame work for driving  on Qatar roads, and develops minimum skills. 

As per the terms of agreement, the Academic Director of Rajagiri is to be provided with a vehicle and a driver.  As I stay away from the campus, I had to have this service.  The routine is - pick up in the morning, drop off in the afternoon; pick up in the evening, and drop off at night 7 pm. In effect, the car was making four trips to and fro - each trip around 10 kms in one direction.  So approximately 80 kms per day!! 

So being able to drive with a valid licence would imply lesser carbon foot print, lesser expenses and greater mobility and freedom. A pan-middle-east drive would also be something that could come about by having that 'key to freedom'. The MD had indicated the same on my arrival itself, though I did not take any further initiative.  It was almost mid May when the systematic, though cumbersome process of obtaining a licence was initiated. 

The first step lies in getting admission in some driving school  There are said to be a few of them in Doha - but Al Khebra, is said to be the leading one.   It is just across Rajagiri School, and its campus appears vaster than the school campus. From my assessment, it has a fleet of over 100 cars (automatic and with manual gears), vehicles of all other sorts - buses, mini-trucks, trailers, forklift, loader, crane, excavator and so on, covering all sorts of vehicles, requiring different licenses.  Two wheelers not permitted on Qatar roads till recently.  With the emerging popularity of food-delivery chains in this part of the world, with Talabaat, in the lead, there was a huge demand for two wheeler riders as employees for moving through the crowded urban space quickly and reducing the burden of finding apt parking slot. So, driving licence for two wheelers also has become a very important area in the whole business of running driving schools.

In my assessment, there were 200 or more employees at Al Khebra - most visible among them, being the instructors in off white uniform shirt, tie, black trousers - appearing very business like. There are male and female trainers.  There are supervisory category staff with a manager over all of them. There is an office category, who deal with registrations, class arrangments, testing, fee payment etc.  And there is a group of well trained security staff - generally a bunch of black people. Among the instructors and supervisors there are quite a few Malayalees, North Indians, Pakistanis, Philippinos and a few of African origin. The office desks are generally managed by some Arabic-African people. 

There are 2 main categories of training - VIP and normal; again each of them having full and half course. Half course is permitted for those who already possess a valid licence (of some couuntry?). That means only half the duration in training, but the fees is almost 80%.  The fee structures are really high - I heard that Al Khebra treats itself as a premium school, and levies much higher fees when compared to the other schools - yet to be verified. 

VIP implies priority in training, tests, some preferential treatment, and perhaps, provisions for extra classes, in case of failure etc. It has a gold package costing QR 9000 to 4800 - for half course manual. For automatic full  course it costs QR 6500 and half course QR 5300.  Some of those who experienced it advise against it, as VIP learners are not taken out into the highways etc. for training, though they make effort to get them cleared.  One of our alumni who had undergone VIP full course had the bitter experience of having to go for extra course to finally clear the test, and possess that dream greenish white plastic card!!

When it comes to Ligh Vehicle (regular) course, a distinction is made between male and female ranging from  QR 250 to QR 100!! Here Full course for male is QR 3820; whereas half course costs QR 3270.   It is indeed unwise to make this choice, as loss is much more in comparison with the QR 550 saved. In this case, no distinction is made between manual and automatic vehicles. There is also another option called Together Until You Pass Flexible - costing QR 8500.  I am yet to know what it is.  Two wheeler licence is separate, and the training of 25 sessions will cost you QR 2795. 

The school itself has an eye testing centre, and the licensing authority office functions, as if it is an appendage to the school. Once you get the approvals for half course from the licensing office, get your eyes tested and pay the fees, you could get an identity card of the school.  Now your instructions begin. You have to download the driver guide app of the school, and complete 5 video lessons of 1 hour duration each.  They are accompanied by on line tests.  They familiarise you with the vehicle types, roads, speed limits, signals etc. These are monitored and once you completed the five tests, you are eligible to go for an online signal test at the school. It has 40 multiple choice questions.  You can get a slot and attend it, and you usually clear.  The process assures that the candidate is familiar with the traffic regulations. Now you are eligible for a Learner's Licence.  Usually this can be a long wait.  After joining in May, when I got the LL, it was already end of June. 

I would advise the ordinary citizen to go for a full course in automatic category, which is said to be easier to clear - and for general purpose, all cars are automatic .  However, if you are of the adventurous type, you could go for the manual category, which will give you the authority to drive both categories in Qatar. 

Usually a full course has 40 lessons and half course 20 lessons. But this is tricky.  You expect 40 sessions, but in fact you get only 20.  This is explained only when you go for a clarification, and usually not beforehand.  So you tend to think, it is the first schedule to prepare you for road test and go ahead, and complete it, and think you have another set coming. When you realise that this is not going to be, you get all the explanation required. Each session is for 45 minutes.  And 2 sessions are combined to give you a 90 minutes slot in a given day.  The schedule is all pukka, dates, instructor, vehicle number, time - all this are allotted.  Changes are possible, with advance information.  

After a great deal of  follow up, with one of our parents in the front office,  I was allocated a training slot towards the middle of July - 3 days in a week. It took 3 weeks. I had the instructor Jeffrey Delos, a Philippino, who always appeared drowsy and bored, but showed his alertness when you tend to go wrong.  

Usually you arrive in time, not to miss the training - but the instructor usually arrives 5 to 10 mts late.  So when you finally get settled in the allotted car, it is almost 15 minutes.  Then the road training outside the campus happens.  For the uninitiated, within the campus.  The instructors are rather strict regarding winding up the session, generally almost 15 minutes ahead of the schedule so that the vehicle will be ready for the next slot. For me, in such sessions, 40 to 50 kilometers were covered on an average. But when it comes to the trickier aspects of L and Box or parallel parking, in your allotted 90 minutes at the most you might be able to do 3 times, with a long queue of trainees for the exercise. That will cause you trouble with just 10 sessions of experience. 

The aashan (instructor) is to be kept in good humour to receive the fine tricks that will help you to clear the tests - that is the general impression. So a periodical tipping of 10 to 20 QR is said to do the work for you.  If you happen to get an instructor who speaks your language, it is easier - to follow the instructions.  Otherwise, you will find it a little difficult to get the instructions right with differing accents.  Before the scheduled training ends, your instructor makes you do a pre-test, which is to be cleared for the road test.  It is monitored by a supervisor. Usually, they clear you. 

By the time, your training gets over, your LL also gets expired. There is nothing to worry.  You have to go the front office, pay QR 150, get a renewed one in a week's time.  You were instructed to wait for the message from Metrash, to get your test schedule.  Waiting,, waiting... nothing came. Now the scheduling requires great patience.  It happens in a class room named Room C.  The officer in-charge (usually a Malayalee) would be available only from 5 to 7 pm. You have to come, collect a token, wait for your turn to be called.  Only this office appeared open to men and women equally, but on unequal terms.  When a woman came, she was attended to off turn. Thus I had to wait for 1 hour and more to get a schedule, after 3 weeks of waiting for the 'promised of a message from the traffic police' did not bear fruit. 

The entire training system is designed bearing male-female separation in mind.  Usually women are trained by female trainers. There are separate class rooms, waiting rooms. Even separate lanes for walking inside the campus! However, the training tracks and vehicles are same. And no specific dress code is insisted upon for women.  

I was given Oct 16th Sunday for the road test.  I reach the room A, a week before, wait for my turn for about 40 minutes, ask for a trainning ride before the test. The officer refuses, saying that my turns are all over.  I persist, argue - that as a student of Al Khebra it was their duty to train their students prior to the test etc. Finally, he grants a session for me on the previous day of the fatal road test! I am assigned one Mr. Nikson Matsiko - he comes (as usual almost 15 minutes late); He is from Uganda.  We become quite pally with each other.  He guides me out, corrects me, we discuss Uganda, Idi Amin... and lo 40 minutes are over.. I request him that I be tested for my side parking.  But now he is very strict - time is up!! We part on good terms. 

On 16th we are to report at 5.30.  Our transport department has arranged a ride for me.  Reach well in time. We are made to wait in AC cabins created out of huge containers.  Tokens are given, and accordingly people are called. By 7.20 candidates began to be taken out for test.  My turn comes.  Each time a bunch of 3 are taken out.  I had 2 Srilankans with me - youngsters, younger than my Indian licence. All ceremonies have to be performed by each candidate - 1. Seated 2. Engine start (usually it is on) 3. Adjusting the seat - height & distance from the steering wheel 4. Adjusting the mirrors L, R and front 5. Seat belt 6. Ease the hand brake, shift gear from P to D, 7. Drive (in the name of the F, S and H. Sp!), 8. Attend to the instructions, but follow the rules.  (Many stories are being told about this part - that they would confuse you, ask you to stop or park in the wrong place, you should say 'yes', and stop only when a legally permitted space is found etc etc.).  With us the police man followed standard patterns - negotiating round about, U turn, road side parking, L and R turns.  I had the last turn and somewhere I had missed the hazard light was switched on, and on the final L turn, he pointed out that I had not paid adequate attention to the right side traffic - true! I thought I flunked. Parked  - stepped out - a lo, the message is there; you have successfully completed; Now complete the rest of the field tests.

I really can't believe! It's a kind of miracle - either the standards are such, and I have managed to maintain the minimum - or the policeman concerned had some sympathy for my age - the white beard, and bearing, a senior executive dressing up!! I attribute it to Allah -Al Rahiman al Rahim! 

Mr. Matsiko met me - enthusiastically responded when I said I had cleared; asked if I wanted to do the Parking tests now.  I was reluctant, not knowing whether it was possible, and whether I was equipped. So another schedule; another waiting for Metrash message; No message; You pursue with Class Room C; another hour of waiting - a slot is allotted for 20th Thursday.  

I seek another training session.  I am flatly denied by the desk officer 2 (a non-Malayalee) and asked to pay QR 150 if I required one. I decide to explore the next day.  Come to the office, argue with the lady at the desk, and she directs me to the manager; I wait for the manager who is busy - the tall Malayalee Supervisor Mr. Salish asks why I was there - on my request, he assures that I could come next morning and ask for a session; and if there was any hitch, he could be contacted. Next evening, I reach.  Queue up where the students wait for instructors. I am allotted a person - Mr. Lui; and we take 2 L & P turns.  I am much more confident, though I feel I require two more.  But on this aspect of training - winding up before time - all Al Khebra instructors are very strict.  Time is up!!

Next morning - it is again early morning, queue up, our turns are allotted. My turn comes arouund 8.40 am. L goes smoothly and comfortably.  I am confident of P as well. Reverse, full R, full L, Again full R - felt it should be straightened, and took a little more to the front, and there was 'beeep'.  The examiner asked me to apply hand brake, then asked me to reverse. I did, without releasing the hand brake. And he requests me to step out - finito!  Instruction - come for P alone next.  The process is repeated - Class Room C - Now our MD intervened.  Called our young IT head, who rides a car and had gone through all these processes; instructs him to facilitate my schedule.  He calls up his acquaintance Mr. Noufal, a senior instructor, and in 2 hours I get message from the school with schedule. Request for another training slot is flatly denied. They would, if I paid QR 150.  I think - I will try once again, if I flunk, will think of further training. Do my own training bit in the school parking area, with some help from our alumnus Alan.  Feel confident.  Arrive on 27th early morning.  I feel more confused - Sense that I do not know the exact points for the R, L, R, L, R... I request for the input from my instructor Jeffrey; there is a Malayalee instructor Mr. Lins - I request him - apply, apply - no reply!! 

I keep my trust in the Lord.  Get some inputs from the jovial Malayalee supervisor Jayanath from Lulu, who afer completing 13 years in Qatar, was trying for a licence now.  For him, he was getting the slot after more than 9 months into the process!! So, comparatively, I had a faster track! He gave a small tip regarding the R & forward step in the P test.  But, now, observing the size of the box, gives me jitters!  My turn comes quick this time. Got seated.  Same examiner.  He comforts, says: apply the formula.  Nothing else.  Watch the Pole.  OK. I try out R - L- R- feel unhappy with the position, feel it is not straight. But I am already missing the white mark in front of the bumper - any move further will result in the beep. I reverse; get out of the box! Lo, I am cleared!! In five seconds METRASH sends the magic message : Don't drive till you get your licence in hand. 

The tip I can give in this regard is borrowed from my student Alan Jerson - go at the slowest possible speed for the P test. And it does work! You are buying space & time in the process for maneuvering. 

The examiner instructs that I could go out to the licence office, and get the licence. This is indeed a surprise! Never expected that! Go to the 'annexure' of Al Khebra.  Get my slot without any delay.  The lady asks for my credit card inaudibly. (Another QR 250 to be paid for licence).  I hand it over; it is declined. I hand over my debit card.  It is declined. No cash payment. I go back, get the school to assist.  School sends Mr. Ashok along.  Payment is made, and we wait for 3 minutes.  The lady at coutner 5 mumbles my name - hardly enough to hear! But I make a guess; go to the counter.  And the greenish white licence card is handed over. 5 years validity!

Total costs involved - QR 3710 = equivalent to Rs. 82000.00 only!! 

So summary lessons for the driving novice in Qatar: 
1. Make and assessment of the various schools and their offers around. 
2. Definitely go for at least one full course - choose automatic, if more adventurous go for the manual!
3. Regularly pursue with the school to get the training sessions arranged, and test dates fixed. 
4. Ensure that of the 40 (in real terms, 20) sessions, at least 3 real sessions set apart for future use immediately before the tests; or be prepared to make additional payments. 

5. Feel free to contact me - if there is doubt in any of these matters. 😍

Rating of Al Khebra.  

Apparently, Al Khebra means expert/expertise.  I agree they do have that. And at the end of the training, you do gain some amount of expertise.  But it has 'raham' in the least!  

1) Facilities - 5; There is a  space in the walled and securely guarded campus for training, and an open area outside. 

2) Helpfulness - 3 - it is a younger brother of Indian bureaucracy. 

3) Best part - immediate declaration of test results and immediate release of the licence. 

Suggestion: They ought to be more approachable, and make some effort that shows that they are keen to have their candidates clear the test, well equipped. 

Post Script:

Now, a proud holder of Qatar Licence, I go to introduce my confrere, Fr Joshy to the school. He is the new principal.  All said and done, it is in the neighbourhood. Just a walk across. 

We are treated very friendly by our Malayalee contacts there - Mr. Salish, and Mr. Noufal - and are very helpful. 

I am in for a surprise, when I learn from Fr. Joshy that there is a special discount as we were from Rajagiri!! 😊 Indeed it makes one feels good. Indeed a freindly gesture to the next door neighbour! Perhaps, this piece has had an effect! 

Licence Story 1 - Getting a Driving Licence in India

Post-retirement, arriving in Doha, I began an effort to obtain a Qatari driving licence. Not an easy task. 

I recall those driving schools found in every small township of Keralam or India. With a small office space, and one or two vehicles, usually old and not otherwise usable.  I remember, the Malayalam movie character of actor Innocent as a driving school 'proprietor' (that used to be the term used for the owner cum trainer of a typical driving school) in Chennai in the popular movie 'yaathrakkarute sraddhakku'. 

I never went to any such school to obtain my licence(s).  As a seminarian, I sought permission from our Provincial, Rev. Fr. Mathias of happy memory to get a driving licence, and he readily gave consent.  It never occurred to me that I should try to get some training or should get a four wheeler (LMV) licence as well. With the initial introduction to riding a two wheeler by Rev. Fr. Zacharias CMI in Kalagarh, Bijnor district, I decided to go after getting that precious entitlement.  I was placed with him for a kind of a 'correctional home' sentence by our then regional superior, Rev. Fr. Mathew.  But he was really happy with me, and when it was time for the 'correctional term' to be shifted to Keralam, he insisted that I accept some present from him - a present of my choice. On being insisted upon, I asked an unexpected gift from him, that I be given some basic training in riding a scootter.  He obliged and I had gained some idea as to how to ride a scooter in the open space of  the sleepy Kalagarh township, at the foothills of Himalayas. But didn't have any proper training, nor confidence.  At Kalamassery, where I spent the rest of the year of the 'correctional term' whenever possible, I made use of the opportunity to help the school headmaster (Rev. Jose Kariamadam, a good senior friend in the congregation) to get his scootter 'refuelled' as a means to enhance my driving skills. Initially, I was not able to kick-start the bajaj scooter properly; I used to ride it down the steep slope, and shift it into the gear to have it started. 

I went to the district collectorate (Kakkanadu) and went through some process through which I was given a learner's licence (for a period of 6 months). I think there was some sort of a test or interview. I vaguely recall a crudely printed pamphlet with some rules and signals on it.  The good part of all this was this: with that in hand, you could really drive around, if you got a vehicle - yes, the rule stipulated that you should have an 'L' board, and also someone with proper licence accompanying you.   But this was hardly ever adhered to in those days. 

This was in the year 1989. The new road regulations applicable all over the country had been just introduced. There was change in the style of numbering. Hand Signals were drastically altered.  Almost like performing some sacred rituals, but evidently aimed at greater safety on the roads. Things were being made more systematic and standardised. The licence of any state would be valid for riding anywhere in India. 

I had to go back to Najibabad, UP and the validity period of my learner's licence was nearing the end.  It was not a great concern for me.  However, it so happened then that I got the invite to attend my brother's wedding.  Usually, we are not permitted to attend such functions.  I do not know why and how, but the new superior, Rev. Fr Augustine was gracious enough to permit me to attend the function.  I was more thrilled at the prospects of attending a driving test within the validity period, as the wedding day and the date of expiry of learner's licence apparently coincided.  I reached a day or two ahead of the wedding, and sought the source from which I could get a two wheeler for the test.  Somehow, I came to know Rev. Fr. Kuriedath, whom I had known as a school boy, and who was now a faculty member at Sacred Heart College, had a scooter under his custody, and I took the courage to ask him the favour of using it for the test.  And he agreed readily. So, on the day before the wedding (I guess so), I collected the scootter and went to Eroor, near Thrippunithura, where an open space (most likely, a purampokku) was being used by the Vehicle Inspector for the test.  Prior to that, in the morning, I had made some trials of negotiating an '8' with the scootter.  I felt okay.  I could do it. 

There were quite a few and we had to register there for the test. No prior appointment was required in those days, only that you had to have a valid learner's licence (LL). I was tipped-off by an onlooker (or a local person) that I was supposed to have a helmet on, while undergoing test. Those days, it was hardly fashionable or mandatory to have a helmet.  So most of the people had come without it, unless instructed by a trainer.  Then the 'friendly neighbour' volunteered to help me with a helmet from somebody, who was willing to spare the same for a 'token amount' of Rs. 100.00.  (it was indeed a big amount for those times.  One litre petrol cost just about Rs 6). I agreed.  It was also fortunate that since I was travelling, I had some money.  Otherwise, to have Rs 100 readily with oneself was less likely, especially for a seminarian.  I didn't even have a wallet, the money if any, was kept in the pocket of shirt or trousers. 

Then came the test - I think there were more than 10 candidates.  The main items of the test were (i) signals while riding and (ii) the fatal 8 ride.  Some sticks are kept as boundaries of the track of 8, and you were supposed to do the ride without stopping and without having any of those sticks hit. Even a light brushing against it, would bring the stick down, which implies failure. I rode very slowly carefully and managed to scrape through.  I noticed that just 2 of us managed to do that. The test was cleared! (Here is the crucial role of driving schools, where the candidates get through even without 8 - thus I am told! The fee includes amount for greasing the palms of the vehicle inspectors as well!)

I have forgotten when and how I got that small pocket book called licence! I think someone received it on my behalf or it came by registered post!! Any how, I was a licence holder by 1990 September and without having to undergo a driving school training, nor having to bribe anyone. I thought it was no mean achievement. 

On arriving back in Najibabad, and finding my juniors trained in a mission seminary all equipped with driving license, and being placed with the Bishop's house as in-charge of a library cum cultural centre, I felt it would be good to upgrade myself with the skill of driving a four wheeler. The beloved bishop Gratian had no hesitation in granting the permission, while reminding that possession of a licence doesn't mean that you would become dependent on having a four wheeler - this has stayed with me till now.  The process repeated - an interview for LL with the RTO, just across the boundary of the bishop's house. My trainer was Mr. Blassius, our domestic support staff turned into driver. I was teaching him Hindi alphabets, and he was teaching me driving.  I remember his tips regarding release of clutch, night riding ettiquetts.  It was a 3-gear Mahindra jeep.  I went for the test, fearing likelihood of a coercion for bribe. I went equipped with a pocket tape recorder.  The RTO who had, by now become familiar to me, and who knew our institution very well, got into the front seat - asked me to drive.  I drove.  We drove along the high way, and he asked me stop at an incline as were climbing.  I stopped, and with the technique taught by Mr. Blassius of managing brake and accelerator simultaneously, I managed that without the vehicle slipping back.  That was it.  I had cleared the crucial test!

The RTO asked me to give a donation to the cause of their association.  Though it was coercion, I felt this was comparatively a better bargain, and in the strict sense, not a bribe - a good will gesture (under constraints).  I think I paid Rs. 100 or 200. Got a receipt for the same.  Something was recorded - it was not very clear and the issue was not that grievous as to warrant an action. 

The formalities took almost 3 months or more.  A memo was sent to Ernakulam RTO asking if there was any objection.  The RTO said that if they did not receive any objection %within 3 months, the licence will be stamped on my existing Kerala licence.  After 3 months or more, while I was already a student of Theology in Dharmaram College, my stamped licence came by registered post! I had authorised, my junior in seminary, now Rev. Dr. Sebastian Payyappilly, who had received it, and sent it to me. What an achievement!  It took me almost 5 more years, before I could actually drive a four wheeler using my 5 year old licence! I had lost all touch.  Rev. Bp Kariyil, my boss of those times, encouraged me and advised that I get tsome raining at the local driving school at Kalamassery, owned by the one and only Berly ashan of Matha Motor Driving School, Kalamassery,  before I ventured to use the institutional vehicle at Rajagiri College. I did that, and was further guided by the college admin staff, Mr. Jolly, using the ambassador KRH 1081, fitted with a matador engine, and having a platform gear! Otherwise, ambassadors had the gear around the steering wheel, those days!  I learn that Berly chettan is no more - departed about three months ago! May he rest with the Lord! 

(I was also caught for 'drunken driving' in  that vehicle, for having provoked the police on the  MG road, that in spite of their horn and flashing lights, I had not given them way to overtake and go ahead.  To my limited skills, there was no space to let them pass by.  I had stretched out my signalling hand, and raised it as if asking a question, which they interpreted as 'slow down signal' shown to a police vehicle! But did they manage to overtake.  Force me stop, and sensing that there was some alcoholic intake, took me straight to the police station and immediately to the government hospital.  But I clearly saw the test result indicating below the limits.  We were let off, and asked to come and collect the vehicle the next day and pay the penalty.  Mr. Jolly did that, and fell into a depression feeling that he was responsible for this incident, though he was no where in the picture.  I checked with the advocate and he said that if I was confident of the result, it was better to fight the case, than plead guilty.  It took more than  2 years for the matter to be heard - there was always the tension of what would happen remaining. But once it came to the court, the judge saw the result, and the case was quashed.  I was cleared of a violation on record - though the process kept me tensed for more than two years, and instead of the penalty of Rs.500, ended up paying the advocate a nominal fee of Rs. 2500.00.)

I was instrumental in selling that off to Koonammavu ITI and assisting my boss in getting a modern car for the college - a TATA Indica!

I have had rides to Idukki, to Coimbatore, to Trivandrum and even a major trip to Bombay, with four of us taking turns.  However, I have stuck to the principle indicated  by Rev Bp Gratian - almost deciding not to use four wheeler, to the extent possible, with the twin purpose of regulating my needs as well as minimmizing on the Carbon front. 

What I hold as a matter of pride is that I could achieve this without any 'formal training' and without having to use the means of bribe.  But it had its negative factors that I had never got clear instructions regarding the managing of a vehicle, and I remained poor with the skills of reversing a vehicle, though I could always 'manage'. 

Diwali - Celebrating the Light

Remembering those old days of Diwali.  We used to have Diwali holidays, I think for almost a month.  But that is a vague memory. Dusserrah and diwali put together, it was a month long break. Illumination used to be a major attraction - the streets of Meerut would  be all lit up. 

I feel unfortunate that our training did not think of purposeful exposure to those cultural aspects.  What we did was perhaps, going around the streets for a night to see the illumination - that itself I am not very sure; nor do I recall to have relished it. 

There was hardly any celebration in the training house related to Diwali, where as when we came to major seminary, this aspect of 'inculturation' was taken into account to a greater extent. Even while staying within a UP village, we hardly had any such celebration, which I consider a bad training as far as mission orientation was concerned. 

Diwali or Deepavali is literally the aavali (line or row) of deep (lights). 

The two myths behind are linked to the two most popular deities of the Hindu pantheon, two of the ten incarnations of the sustainer God, Vishnu, viz., Ram and Krishna.  The former, in connection with his glorious return to Ayodhya after the fourteen years of enfocred exile and destruction of the evil as represented by Ravan of Lanka; the latter, in commemoration of his victory over the evil power Narakasur. Either way, the welcome was by lighting the lamps all along the streets. Hence the 'deepavali'.  

The rituals surrounding Deepavali spread over five days are interesting to note: 

Day 1 - Dhanteras or Dhantrayodas - a celebration of 'well being' as linked to 'Lord Dhanwantari' of Ayurveda. He is said to have emerged during the amrt manthan with a pot of amrt (nectar) There is a practice for well being involving a holy bath around sunset, a veneration of tulsi (Ocimum sanctum) with a diya (earthern lamp), and a prayer to the Lord Yama, to avert (his) unwelcome, untimely interference during Diwali. Dhanteras also has a connection with 'dhan' (propserity) as symbolised by goddess Lakshmi, who is venerated on the day.  It is considered to be the auspicious day for purchase of gold and other precious metals, and household utensils and automobiles. 

Day 2 - Narak chaturdasi, in celebration of the triumph of Lord Krishna over the ferocious demon Narakasur, who held the wicked practice of abducting the 'gopis'.  The house and premises are kept clean, and fragrant oil and flowers are used to keep the spirits lifted.  There is a practice of traditional rangoli ((design patterns) using rice flower, as a welcome symbol, with a diya kept lit in the rooms and in the backyard throughout the night. 

Day 3 - Diwali recalling the welcome given to Lord Rama on his triumphant return to Ayodhya. Rituals led by the priests, lighted houses and streets, delicious sweets and fire crackers are the components of celebration. For many, the day is a celebration  of 'prosperity' by worshipping Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth, on her birthday. Rangoli motifs indicate welcome to Lakshmi.  It is considered auspicious for the traders to open their new account book (chopda pujan).  West Bengal celebrates Maa Kali during the night. 

Day 4 - Govardhan Pujan  This is a celebration of Lord Krishna's protective intervention to save the people of Brndavan from submerging on account of Indra's wrath that took shape of torrents.  He lifted Mt Govardhan to protect his people.  There is huge gathering of pilgrims in Mathura during this day.  Wearing new clothes  and jewellery, and distributing sweets among friends and relatives form part of the celebration. 

Day 5 - Bhai Dhooj is the celebrates brother-sister relationship, after Yama and Yami.  It reminds the devotees of Yama's gladness and promise of blessings on all brothers, who visit their sisters.  It is after the incident of being received heartily by his sister Yami. A very fine sentiment indeed (I notice that, Indian traditions have prominently placed days to celebrate ancestors, guru, brother, sister, husband - but so far, I have not come across any for wife or parents.  Perhaps, I am wrong.)

However, the net-effect of this beautiful religious festival in North India, is turning to be adharmik, with the environment getting highly polluted on account of the mode of celebrations.  Even in 2022, the day after Diwali showed Delhi topping the list of most polluted capital cities of the world, with a level of air quality considered hazardous, above 300. With numerous court and government orders proving to be toothless in this regard, it is for the religion to bring back the celebration to its dharmik core, and helping people to celebrate and enjoy without having to violate 'mother earth'.  

In the northern states of India, Diwali marks the onset of winter season. People get into warm clothes from Diwali. Perhaps the cleanliness drive related to Lakshmi puja also has something to do with the onset of winter; preparing for the colder weather with the house cleansed and sanitised. The next thorough cleaning might happen only with Holi, the official mark of the end of winter season!

 In the southern state of Keralam, Deepavali is not celebrated with great festivities. Generally confined to Hindu families, and felt in the neighbourhood, by the occasional fire crackers in the evening.  These cultural details of diwali are hardly known to people outside the Hindu fold, that too of the Northern India.  I feel,  that living together in the neighbourhood with  communities of diverse cultures (faith and festivities), it is important to know such details and appreciate them. 

My interest is awakened at the thought of 'festival of lights', with light being a very prominent symbol in all spiritual pursuits.  The believer, or rather, the seeker is led by a quest for 'enlightenment', which raises him or her above the mundane planes, to move around with 'freedom' of a child of God! It is interesting to note that it was the Roman tradition of celebration of light that got adapted into the Christian culture as Christmas, celebration of  the birth of God's Christ (annointed) on earth as its light and life. The Greek tradition of celebrating the virgin birth of the popular indulgent god Dionysious marking December 25th as the day, or the Athenain tradition of venerating Kronos around that time, or most likely the Roman festivities around Saturnalia somewehre around December 15th and 23rd, with all sorts of freedom, are said to have been fused into and drastically transformed as a Christian festival celebraing the birth of eternal light on earth - it had less to do with the historical date of the birth of Christ. Christian Catholic traditions have elaborate celebration of light during the Easter festivities.  This latter is celebrated more as linked to the time of the year, when those events actaully happened in history. 

Ideally, Christmas celebrations for Christians in India would fit rather well with the culturally fitting festival of lights - where we welcome into our homes and heart, the Light of lights, and who is also the greatest of wealths for the believer.  Perhaps, now it is too late for such culturally adapted thinking, for Christmas too has taken the shape of a festival, more to do with festivities - cake, card, Christmas tree - and less to do with Christ.  

On a different plane, it is a feast to celebrate the Light.  The Supreme Light leading to 'light within' - enlightenment. It is a call to be people of light; to walk in the light; to be the light. It is to be within humanbeings, as  'goodness' towards all! Flooding the world with the light of goodness. 

O Light of lights, Lead us to that Light!

Om tamasoma jyotirgamaya!

Lakshmi puja Oct. 23, 2022

Diwali as Lakshmipuja Oct. 23, 2022

Five Days of Diwali Oct. 23, 2022

Christmas Origins Oct. 24, 2022

Dr. A.K. Chacko & Mrs. Teresa (Kochuthresia) Chacko

Kochuthresia Mampilly(95) w/o Dr. A.K. Chacko, Alappat 

Oct. 25, 2022

I feel very sorry at her departure - sorry for me! That all these days, her having been there was not known to me; and that I failed to call on her, greet her, meet her.  

She was one among those mothers of our times as youngsters - we had the mother of Manikath - Thankamma chechi, of Keethara - Mercy chechi, of Palakkappilly Chinnamma chechi, Palakkappilly Thressiamma chechi, of Kalathiveettil Kuttamma chechi & Isaac chettan's mom, and Ammini chechi, Manikath serveral of them - Cheruchi chedathi, Mamikutty chechi, the Vellyammas of Palakkappilly-Payyappilly, of Koonamveedu, of Variamparambu, of Njarackavelil - Reddy's mother and Anu's mother, of Koramangalath - a few of them, but Thressiamma chechi whom I used to call Xavier chedathi, Chinnamma chechi of Mannamparampil (Vaikathukaaran), the amma of John Kudilangal Thaipodath,  and a few others.

Though she was one among these contemporaries listed, I feel, she was always apart from all of them. Her very aristocratic features, and perhaps being the only doctor's wife, made her a little apart. I had never seen her in any of the local companies - the typical church based mathrusangham - there was hardly any other forum, but for the circles of rotary or something of that sort, which was never something known to ordinary mortals of those times. 

I think she stood out because she was perhaps the first lady of the locality who drove a car - an ambassador car in those days. Car itself was a rarity, with just a few of the whole households of Perumanur having a car - and a lady driving a car was rare rarity! I guess it was a response to Dr. Chacko having had a 'stroke' - he survived, but was defintiely affected.  We saw this lady boldly learning to drive the big vehicle, and take the doctor around!  She continued to be her sober, uninvolved, elegant self...  I am sure she knew almost all of us brothers and sisters. Perhaps, she knew almost all the families of Perumanur - being the wife of the only doctor of Perumanur, the next one being Dr. Pulikkan who was almost 2 kms or more away at Pallikmukku - Pulikkante Aashupatri = which registered a phenomenal growth in the 80s to grow into the present day Medical Trust - a household name in healthcare in the state!! The only other rival (?), if he had any, was Dr. Charlie, his neighbour, but practising homeopathy.  The other health practitioner was Thirunilath George Vaidyar, whose clinic also was just 50 mts away from Dr. Chacko's clinic.  And our vellyappan's store offered the ingredients for ayurvedic and home remedies! So around that junction, which came to be known as Chackola colony, we had a local predecessor to the present day AYUSH! (This Chackola colony is something which gave me some sort of indigestion in my post-30 years.  Nothing against the benevolent Chackola Annamma Chedathi and industrious Chackola Joseph Chettan who established a row of houses with his own at the apex, and perhaps named it 'Chackola Colony'.  I guess the whole area used to Payyappilly- Palakkappilly - predominantly; But none of the Payyappilly's had any such initiative to consolidate themselves and make a united front to get a name at least for the road that passed right through the middle of their properties - that too, in spite of having had an illustrious family member like the Ven. Fr. Varghese Payyapilly from among them). 

The clinic had no name or board, but a small insignificant board showing doctor's name and clinic timings. But Chacko doctor was the doctor for Thevara-Perumanur, he knew every child and every home around (I presume so).  When we had some ailments, if there was any difficulty for us to reach him, he would come home.  The best thing about his medicine, in contrast to that of Thirunilathu Vaidyar was that we could eat well, where as Vaidyar would always impose some dietary restrictions. No need to stick to kanji (gruel), you could have rice! (It appears that cough & fever related illnesses were subjected to Chacko doctor, where as those related to the 'stomach' were dealt with by the Vaidyar). 

Till Dr. Benny Paul appeared on the scene, with some testing facility and some nursing staff, there was no medical authority or help around for the entire region - but our family doctor, Dr. Chacko, supported solely by his compounder, Mr. George(?). He is referred to in the autobiography of the late Cardinal Parecattil, who was the parish priest, completing his undergrad studies at Sacred Heart College.  Doctor was a regular at the Church, nad he had a privileged seat in the narrow sacristy.  I think, aunt Kochuthresia also attended teh Church regularly.  I recall, John, James and me, went to his house (on his offer) and collected plants for establishing a garden for the Kochupally. He was equally enthusiastic about the venture.  I remember the name of a pernnial flowering plant - he told us that it was 'bird of paradise' (a kind of heliconia)

Doctor had come from somewhere Thrissur most likely - and Aunt Kochuthresia, most likely from Njarackal Mampilly.  They had become part of the geography of Perumanur - Thevara. doctor had obtained an ancestral property that belonged to the Palakkappilly family, which was sold to him, as that particular family had become debt ridden.  Perumanur post-office was established in that ancestral home.

That was vast plot was our play ground as well, lying adjacent to our own ancestral home. The ground was never level, with the traditional practice of top soil being sliced using a sharp spade, and then heaped up, perhaps to retain moisture or prevent the spread of grass.  But still we managed to play football and cricket and sadembri there. It had a disused pond as well - I feel shocked to recall that all of us, including me were party to throwing waste material into it.  And nobody thought of it otherwise.  It was meant to be filled! 

I overheard Doctor, on one of his rare visits to the plot, asking my father, "Kunje, ninakkathangottu medikkarutho?"  Looking back I feel it was a perfect suggestion on his part.  But Ichayan, hardly ever in an acquisitive mood, had no inclination whatsoever towards it.  In the early 80s, at least part of that was sold off to have the first mosque of our locality established. 

After joining the seminary, I don't think I have seen the doctor. He had only daughters.  They too were not actively involved in any of the local social (read, Church) circles.  I hear that all of them are abroad, and by God's grace, doing well. 

My deep deep regrets for not having thought of her or visited her all these days - in spite of having been in Thevara for a decade. Thevara-Perumanur community can never forget this family of our doctor, and the bold and beautiful Kochuthresia aunty, who was indeed a support to the sole modern health facility of the locality for over three decades. May the God of peace sancity them through all things, that they be preserved without blame unto the return of the Lord...(1 Thes 5:23)

Diwali in Doha Oct 2022 - Celebrations for Sustainability Education

Happy Diwali!  

Diwali in Doha Rajagiri

This year, Indians the world over are indeed feeling blessed on Diwali - the Indian team was given a thumping victory over the arch-rivals Pakistan* in the 20-20 world cup - thanks to a Kohli Diwali of crackers and rockets on the cricket pitch of Melbourne.  then the Indians felt a secrete sense of revenge with somone of Indian origin, even to the third generation away from India, with an evident Indian bearing and an Indian surname - a Brown 'East' Indian, befittingly some 'rishi'  of sorts, now guiding the destinies of the White West English. 

As I became part of the flow of the school based celebrations, I realised that it was for the first time that I was celebrating Deepavali, barring a symbolic celebration in the senior years of major seminary, where we used to celebrate 'the feast of lights' in connection with the 'Light of lights'.  This is in spite of having been in the North of India and Maharashtra for quite some time of my youth - almost a decade!

I interacted with the students gathered for the special assembly, almost 250 of them, bubbling with energy, and all dressed in various colours as it was a 'uniform free day' as part of the diwali celebrations. From their response, I gathered that almost 60% of them had some celebration or other in connection with Diwali - in their listing of the celebrations there were: puja (rituals), diya (lamps), rangoli or kolam (the designs in rice flour, depicting prosperity), sweets, fire-crackers... Apt answers, but what I wanted, I did not get from them - the practice of cleaning up the homes.  

Among the several significances of the festival, prosperity motif is a dominant one.  A symbolic ritual in some parts of the country is that of cleaning up the homes to get rid of the ant-prosperity element, which in our local language is termed mooshetta (related to negativity), before establishing Lakshmi, the deity of wealth and prosperity, the consort of the sustainer God, Vishnu (implication is that prosperity accompanies sustainability! And it can be sought only when sustenance is ensured - antyodaya for sarvodaya). 

And sustainability and prosperity presuppose cleanliness - of mind, body and the environment. So it is a beautiful occasion for a sustainability education through religious observance.  But unfortunately, this aspect had hardly been registered with any of the children, or with the parents, perhaps. That cleaning ritual might not be undertaken at all, and if undertaken, minus its educative function. 

To the children, the key message is that of light, symbolizing the good - light overcoming darkness  as a symbol of goodness overcoming wickedness and evil (I set aside all debates on these symbolisms for the time being). So the feast is an invitation to be the children of light, or be the light.  I would suggest the best way to be the children of light is to increase goodness. And in the context of Diwali, the goodness one should make one's habit is 'cleanliness' (which is next to godliness). swacchata hi seva hai - cleanliness itself is service, is goodness - cleanliness of self, of one's home, of one's class room, of one's campus, starting with NO to littering, and moving on to waste REDUCTION. 

Contrary to the spirit of Diwali, every year, India's proud capital, reinforces its ranking at no. 1, among the most polluted capitals of the world, this year being not different.  Only consolation being, since 2015, this was the best record of Delhi's Air Quality after Diwali. It was at 326 on October 25th, though it did dip from the pre-Diwali status. The windy and less humid weather did the favour this year. The standards are below 50 - green, good; up to 100 - yellow-moderate; up to 150 - unhealthy for sensitive groups; up to 200 - red-unhealthy; up to 300 - purple-very unhealthy and above 300 - maroon-hazardous.  So our festivity, instead of ensuring 'well being' and prosperity, is leading to illness, jeopardizing the common good. In fact, it is adding to evil! Delhi after Diwali 2022

I saw the instruction given by the Principal to the children of a school in Dhule, Maharashtra - to celebrate a Diwali without crackers! Good education, I feel. 

Both the kindergarten and middle school assemblies had good singing and dancing in groups, besides some very well prepared speeches by the young Fatima Zayn of KG and Shivam Modgil of VI grade - spledid delivery. What I liked most was that in both the assemblies, the teachers appeared dressed up,  well planned for the occasion in matching colours, and performed a dance for the kids!! They danced to the mantra - shubham kuruttvam kalyaanam...Aarogyam dhana sampada

Seeing all these happening in the school, I feel that the oft repeated bemoaning by people of my generation that education is going to dogs, and that the education that we got 'then', was really great etc. misplaced. Definitely, it had its own merits, but today's education appears much more goal directed, focussed and comprehensive. Efforts - laudable! Effectiveness - debatable!

*In the meanwhile, I am on an incessant quest to make friends with Pakistan; just waiting for the Train to Pakistan!

Note: Diwali card (top) was made by the students and given to the academic leaders present during the assembly.