"Acha, Andrews poyi ketto."
In those four words of Fiji, Andrew's wife, the end of a set of relationships in time and space was summarised.
For me, a friendship of almost 25 years - a space where I could be free and at ease, though I did not generally utilise such a space, but it was there. You could do away with the masks and pretenses and be there, at his place - earlier at his parents' home; and later, at his own house, which he had proudly conceived and built, without relying on the property share due from his .
We became acquainted when we offered him the management of our computer centre in 1998. We had invited quotations. Our long time associate and vendor could not match up to the offer given by Andrews, who had his own company with sole decision making dependent on him, and with minimal infrastructure, could cash-in on lower overheads. This made him a hot-favourite with our network of institutions and even the individuals involved as far as computer systems were concerned.
There were always low and high in the relationship with Andrew and his firm 'mircoline' - while offers were attractive and there were innovative and most modern aspects of technology brought into the systems, service side was tardy. Once in 2000 or so, I was away in Rajasthan attending a training in research methodology, Rev. Kariyil, the principal contacted me, and asked me to come to the campus without delay and address the situation where internet had collapsed and Andrew was not responding properly. It was not yet budget-flight times, and I managed to reach back in two days travelling by bus and train. And as Andrew was not getting through had to go to his house, get his parents also involved, and finally the system got replaced, at Andrew's expense. But Andrews was telling it was not his fault. There was water seepage into the router, and it had got damaged, and he had insisted that it be replaced, as it was not his fault, which the college was not willing to do. But with the kind of personal friendship Andrews had developed with all of us by then, he would not go the typical contract lines, but gave in to our pressure.
But the aspect of service became a block with him for almost all our institutions - it became a trait. And after the initial 'honey moon' of 3 or 4 years, almost all institutions stopped deals with him, and even replacing him with his erstwhile reivals. However, all that did not affect personal relationships - he had built up good relations with Fr Alex, Fr. Mathew Vattathara, Fr. Varghese Kachappilly, Fr. Antony Madavana, but especially with Fr. Varghese Puthussery and me. Somehow, Thomas Peechatt who was the PE teacher of Rajagiri school at that time, Andrew and me, became a strange trinity - exploring places, going for long rides on motorbike, trekking, camping, enjoying full moon on the river, accompanied with some very pure toddy from coconut to which he had access. We also made sure that all our outings were environment friendly, and wasteless. Even Andrews caught upon such ideas, at least in our company, as he himself would confess later.
Our friendship was such that I even had to accompany him in his pursuit of finding a life partner - a thing which I have never got into with anyone, even my closest blood relations.
Andrew finally found his partner through his stint in the service of the Church, as the head master of Sunday School of Thykoodam church. It was almost unthinkable for me to place Andrews in the position of a sunday school teacher. But I think, he did well - used ICT in sunday school, and had very practical ways of communicating Christian values to the children. In his involvement with Sunday school activities, he found Fiji, a Sunday School teacher of the neighbouring parish. And I think it gelled well, and we all witnessed to his marriage; I think I preached on the occasion.
He developed company with some senior priests as well, like Fr. Alex and Fr. Zacharias - but more in the form of being helpful to them in supporting their ventures - especially with some aspects of the renovation of the Provincial House chapel, to which he has contributed in certain aspects of the decor of the sanctuary and ideas regarding furnishing and lighting and digital display. That created some sort of dependence for both of them on some such matters, to the exent, that when Fr. Alex finally shifted his base from over 40 years of stay at Kalamassery to Chunangumvely, he banked on Andrews to shift his stuff, rather than the provincial house.
All these people would contact me when they finally got fed up with Andrew not responding to their calls regarding some committment he had made or some service pending with the systems. This had become a trait with him - when he was beset with some financial constraints, he would just stop responding; he would even get away - thus, twice or thrice he went away to Malaysia to further strengthen his trade relations, and as per his accounts, came back with greater connections. When it had nothing to do with me, he would respond, and I would in turn ask him to get in touch with them, and he would. In spite of these limitations, he would be abreast with the latest models and trends in the industry, and was able to introduce these wherever he got an opportunity.
He was a man of 'yes' - in the sense, when an idea is presented, he was willing to take it up and complete it, and do it in a comprehesive way, taking care of the technology, the hardware, the software, the furiture, furnishings and decor. He had some ideas regarding design and was able to do the entire work under his supervision. When we launched SH school of communications in 2012, under severe space constraints, it was thanks to his efforts that we could have a space presentable to people with all its requirements to start off completed in time - the redesign of the rooms, paneling, power and data cables, battery and their storage, airconditioning, furnitures... all these were managed single handedly by him... leading to the opening of SH school of communication in the September of 2012. 
But sometimes, he would say 'yes', but would not do; and would not say no till the last moment or even after that. For our outings or get together he would be generous to host dinner at his home and would not bother about the expenditures involved. I saw to it that in the outings I never became a liability, and wherever possible, tried to go dutch, and when I took such initiatives, ensured that I bore the expenses. But the part of having to bear expenditure, to spend money for making life enjoyable was a matter of least botheration for him.
In spite of being a very closely knit family - with 2 married sons staying together with the parents, there developed some misunderstanding, normal to any family; and Andrews decided to stay separately, and not to rely on his father's resources. Thus he shifted to a rented building some 2 kilometers away and after 2 years, built his own house as his dream project in the limited space he had acquired for himself. It was a four storey bulding, with office space and residence; with a small pool on the terrace, and provisions for a future elevator.
Andrew was a man of celebration - celebrating his own life - birthdays, anniversary - all these were solemn occasions for him; and he wanted his friends, at least a few of us for such celebrations. September 5, his birthday and Dec. 31st their wedding anniversary day and his daughter Andrea's birthday were the most solemn occassions on which he would insist on my presence. And there would be excellent food for the occasion - pearl spot, shrimps etc. being inevitable. Fiji had absorbed from Andrew's mother, a knack to make these dishes in a typical Kochi style. The last of such celebration of Dec. 31st 2022 he was not even aware of anything, being admitted in the ICU and grappling with life!
In tune with his being a party-man, he was also a man who found happiness in finding attractive and curious things, and presenting them to others - The Principal's revolving chair in the office of SH college, two pedestals for decorative purposes which are there before the Principal's office, watches, shoes, knives, goggles, dress items... he used to find these things and force it upon his friends and well-wishers. He came to know that I was planning to purchase some trousers as I had none presentable for my trip to a conference in Korea. He came with 4 sets of pant-pieces and would insist on my taking them, in spite of my consistent refusal to do so. He himself arranged for a tailor. (I was doing some such purchase almost after 10 years!). Even after 6 years, I am still using four of those pants he had forced upon me.
Andrew was very keen to be of service to all those who come in his way - by way of contacts, publicity, information, new gadgets... If somone close to his friends got ill, he was keen to visit them, and if possible, connect them to treatment facilities. If required, he would accompany them, or even take them there. If someone in his circles died, he would be there, and would not have food, till the funeral rites are accomplished.
And he loved being photographed in various poses. In spite of being an IT person - adept with the management of both hardware and software, he was not much into social media. His FB account shows some postings. But nothing that shows a deep involvement with it. He managed to maintain a wide network of relationships - from his neighbourhood/school time friendship and typical business circle to political and bureaucratic circles, religious circles - especially with the CMIs of Kochi province, a minimum of media personnel as well. He was a party man with all of them, though didn't appear to be having any over indulgence or dependence.
As a religious I am not meant to have any personal property or deposit - yet when my mother handed over to me a little more than Rs. 200000, I did not surrender that to the Province, though I kept a written statement on that. When Andrew was in need of some funds I spared that and after a few years, with some amount of persuasion he returned the same to me with quite some interest added to it, still beneficial to him in terms of bank loans. My plan was to spare that amount to college development plan which I had conceived titled Building Space for Excellence, with perhaps a small hall or so, in my father's name. So I had asked him to retain the same, which he gladly did, and asked him to return the same, when I demanded. The amount due was now about 3.5 lakhs or more. I had reminded him that he should return the same on my retirement, but by then it was COVID times and he was not able to do so. And I did not feel like pressing with him or with Fiji, later on, as they were under severe constraints by then.
In spite of his high energy levels and great sports enthusiasm (he claimed to have been really good with football - though since our aquaintance, I never saw him practisig; but definitely, he was quite good at swimming, and could dive into waters like a professional), he used to get attacks of illnesses - digestion, fever, flu - on and off. I used to comment: You are not healthy. Then it appeared that both of us had developed gout. His uric acid level was higher, but not hurting. Mine was severly painful, though brought under control without much delay. However, with him, the swollen feet phenomenon persisted. It wouldn't just go away. Then there appeared some growth on his eyelids. What began to develop as some growth on the eyelids and later swollen feet towards the end of 2020 did not get cured. By 2021 he had to seek admission in the hospital, and once even to the ICU at Lakeshore. It was a critical period and he finally emerged. The life-style had changed. He also went with the family to a naturopathy centre at Chengamanad, and came back refreshed, with dietary habits changed. But still creatin level was not coming down. 2021 saw him being further undergoing treatment at Lakeshore, and in spite of my repeated suggestions, Rajagiri hospital was not consulted.
We had our last meeting when I came back to India for an official meeting in 2022 April. Thomas and Andrew came to the Provincial house, Andrew driving. And I brought them to the dining hall, where they greeted Fr. Vattathara who himself was not keeping all that well, and had begun to undergo dialysis. Then we went to Decathlon, and unlike me, I spent some time and money purchasing shoes (first time, a pair of shoes worth Rs. 1000!) that would serve as a brace to help me walk well. I too was suffering since December 2021 with recurrent bouts of gout - even then, I had not got reconciled to the idea that it was on account of gout that I was having the trouble. Then we went to Hotel Periyar on the Periyar - my first visit to the place. I treated them to a minimalist dinner of puttu and some curry. I think, I myself did not have food. We clicked pictures. Said good bye. Even after coming to Doha, I tried to maintain regular contact with him. And learnt about his being hospitalised again, and being under critical condition.
But when I came for a short break in December, I stopped over at his place on Dec. 21st and Thomas too was there. We had a fairly long chat. He was looking ill, but was still his old self. And I hoped he will come back fully. I was a little angry with him for not returning my lap-top given to him, repaired and ready for use. I challenged him that he would not do so even when I would have to leave on the 25th. He offered me a something like an apple watch, and insisted that I take it. But I resolutely refused, and asked him to get my note-pad repaired and ready. I thought it would be done. But it was not to be. There was no further calls from him. Thomas, the third in our trinity of friendship, called me and asked why I refused the gift, and that he was feeling hurt. I told there was nothing to bother about, but didn't feel it was required to call him up again. We could always have small fights and still continue with our relationship, without any hitch.
On 24th, I had a very busy day, but I thought I would stop over at Andrew's parents' place and say hello to them. And I did - finding Andrea there, I was surprised, and they revealed to me that the previous night Andrew had taken ill, had gone critical with loss of Sodium, and was having deliriums and was admitted in Lakeshore ICU. Even if we went, we could not see. Another bout! That was all that I had thought. I had a very hectic day and the next day, returned to Doha. I was regularly following it up with Fiji. Fr. Puthussery texted me saying that some help, if possible, should be given to him, and I responded utmost within my resource limit was with him. Even Fr Joseph thought some initiative could be taken for resource mobilisation. I sent a note to Fr. Alex, to put in a word with Fr. Provincial and seek some support from our brethren abroad. But there was no response from him. Fiji updated me after a month long stay in the ICU that things were better - but it was followed by another update that his pressure was not being able to be maintained. I did not know that was a very critical thing. But continued to offer him in the daily mass.
Then on the 26th night came the shattering news from Fr. Joseph that Andrew had gone. With all his great dreams and ambitions - of business, of properties, of innovation, of enjoying life....It was aggravated by the fact that his beloved mother - with whom he was very much attached - also had gone. It was almost 11 pm. He suggested that I come for the funeral. I did not respond. But the first thing in the morning, I looked for flights - I could find no flight that could reach before 5 pm. Some may reach by 10 pm. But none to reach me before 5 pm. My good friend had to go without my being present. Now I deeply regretted that I didn't make a call - said good things, and wished him good luck, after Thomas had given me the hint that he was upset when I curtly refused his gift.
I feel the loss - could not describe that. What a great loss of a friend, ever ready, ready to listen, to go out, to receive, to care for, to offer hospitality, to help one feel free... It was he who suggested that we should go together and visit my ailing mother, then on her last birthday of 2019, I requested him and he came willingly with his car and we all together celebrated her last birthday at Perinthalmanna. Though unwarranted, he had presented her with a woollen blanket - she was already in a non-responsive state for quite long. That was the last time, I met my mother alive. Our full-moon nights over the Champakkara river were some of the best experiences I have ever had!
When my good friend Thomas was upset with very many things, besides the COVID restrictions weighing down on lonely individuals, we decided to risk a trip in those restrictive times, and had a ride to Munnar with Thomas, staying over at our experimental plot and enjoying the cloudy-rainy weather of Kanthalloor. That was in June 2020.
Andrew left like that - the incorrigible technologist and computer man; but incorrigibly optimistic as well. In spite of the odds, I thought he was optimistic of a come back - and I too thought it would be like that. God has disposed off thus!! Though I have no tears - the loss is terrible. I don't have anyone to replace that gap, and I don't think I will ever have.
There is daunting task before Fiji - of not losing Andrew's dream house to debtors. She is aware of that. There is a project pending. In fact, there is a lot of money to be received - But wonder how all this could be accomplished, with Andrew having hardly involved Fiji and having all his plans within his head, it would be really really tought.
May his spirit guide them from above!
