Ajna - Blemishless Heart and Cheerful Countenance

Ajna - Blemishless Heart and Cheerful Countenance

Ajna - Somehow, I had taken notice of Ajna - perhaps from the intake interview, perhaps because of the name, perhaps because of her involvement with Jesus Youth.  From the day one, I wondered what this name meant, and why this name was given to her.  In Malayalam, it would imply someone ignorant.  However, over the years, I came to understand her as a 'seeker of true wisdom' and having gone from us with the assurance of having found it, found him!

I noticed in Ajna perseverance and a heart that does not get weary in pursuing her purposes.  My initial skepticism about Jesus Youth, and almost any student initiative on the campus, with the  likelihood of it being 'politically motivated' put all those who came for a permission to the test of perseverance.  They had to clarify the purpose, they had to have the faculty in-charge vouch for the programme, they have to ensure how they would manage the campus discipline and environmental concerns... it usually involved 3 to 4 trips to the principal's office to get permission for an activity, howsoever well meaning that was to be.  However, I found her persevering, not reacting, no sign of desperation, but finally succeeding. 

She always appeared and responded with a kind of diffused smile, not really evident, but sill there. 

Though I knew that she was a good student, when she cleared the coveted UGC-NET exam in the first sitting (that is  what my impression is), I was really surprised.  I was glad that she was selected as a faculty member in our sister concern, Rajagiri.  I was also quick to learn that perhaps on the very first day of her life as a teacher, she was found to be with the potential malignancy. (If I recall correctly, I happened to meet her somewhere in Vyttila, as she was about to go on the new assignment, at the same time revealing this aspect as well.) 

The test of fire of the gold that she was began with that instance, I think.  How from an apparent innocuous rash on the cheek, it developed into a cancer, and how she went through the painful proceedings with amazing patience, astonishing hope and unimaginable fortitude, is a text in holiness. And how at each stage of recovery, in spite of the pain, she bounced back into life. 

SH was fortunate to have had her as a faculty after the first level of recovery.  It was only after her illness that I realised that it was she who worked like a catalyst to transform the Jesus Youth unit of SH into a vibrant Jesus spirited group, under the effective guidance of Fr Sabu. 

The second and much more painful treatment was where her courage and faith came to the fore.  While visiting her with the perplexity as to how to console her, we were put at ease by her.  And she became part of our community, our prayer. 

I was reluctant to see her, when I came to know that there was again a recurrance.  However, I did go with Fr Joseph, who was instrumental in getting her engaged during the second phase by making her teach the seminarians, and which, I think was a great inspiration and a help to the seminarians.  While we were there the adverse effects of the malignancy was already apparent on her face, and she had to sustain herself with food being given directly to the stomach by means of a tube.  But she exhibited no trace of annoyance or made any complaint, but received us sweetly. 

The last of my visits to her was with Fr. Sabu, just a few days before her final departure, and in spite of the very disturbing appearnce, and my anxiety as to how to respond to her, we were easily engaging in conversation and she showed great interest in learning about my pan India trip, and responded with the learner's curiosity to watch the pictures of the trip.  Perhaps, she did that to make me comfortable and happy, though my intention was to give her a distraction of some sort.  Fr Sabu shared his great admiration as to the dignity with which she bore herself and her trauma.

While I had lost any hope of her recovering, from my last visit, I found quite a few of her teachers still very hopeful and persevering in prayer. In my daily prayers, mass and rosary, Ajna was a constant presence, but I felt disappoiinted that my prayers were not heard as I wanted them to be heard by the Lord. However, the Lord's plan has revealed today through Ajna the possibility of sanctity, possibility of the imitation of Christ, how to face adversity in life. 

Her enthusiasm to learn lasted till the end, and in the last visit, we learnt from her mother was she was feeling disappointed when she felt that the power to learn was being snatched from her; but the phase passed and she was thrilled to have accomplished the learning tasks she had set for her. 

As it had been now told and retold, we definitely have a powerful presence before the Lord, and an inspiring youth - who lived life, and encountered the vicissitudes of life with great courage, perseverance, zest; who enjoyed life in spite of the limiting constraints on it, in whom the Lord's promises of joy (Jn 15:11) and life (Jn 10:10) have found fulfillment. 

I deem myself fortunate to have been among her teachers (though I did not actually teach her), and having had the good fortune of being visited by her for various permissions, and having visited her at her home a few times during her illness. I sensed the sanctity of a true follower of Christ, a true replica of Sacred Heart in her.

I am now happy that Sacred Heart (college) has a saint, a martyr - having been a witness which demanded much more than a cruel and painful death by sword or knife or gun, but a much severe test of persevering in faith and hope in adversity, a real challenge for any Christian who tries to follow Christ.  

പ്രിയമുള്ളതെല്ലാം ഒരുജ്ജ്വല സത്യത്തിനൂർജ്ജമായ്‌ നൽകിയ രക്തസാക്ഷി ...

എവിടെയോ കത്തിച്ച് വച്ചോരു ചന്ദന തിരി പോലെ എരിഞ്ഞ  രക്തസാക്ഷി ...

 I pray and look forward to God's great plan unraveling in her being raised to the honours of the altar. Indeed she lives with the Lord and I hope the challenge of sanctity and zeal in devotion to the Lord she raises will be responded to by all of us beginning with me! 

This is the prayer from the Eucharist (Syro Malabar rite) that she reminds me: Lord help us always to be blemishless, of pure heart and of joyful  countenance (നിർമലഹൃദയരും പ്രസന്നവദനരും നിഷ്കളങ്കരും ) before you - as she walked thus before us and before the Lord.

As they step down ...

കാണെക്കാണെ വയസ്സാകുന്നു അമ്മേ നിൻ മക്കൾക്കെല്ലാം

വീണ കമ്പികൾ മീട്ടുകയല്ലോ നവതാരുണ്യം നിൻ തിരുവുടലിൽ 

Sacred Heart's with almost 75 years of history continues to be young and vibrant, while her children are getting old, and are retiring.  I hope the alma mater would thus remain ever young and vibrant, as something 'built to last'!

A quartet of immensely rich knowledge resource - I would hesitate to use the term resource, rather it is PRESENCE - presences rich with years of 'teaching' experience, knowing very well what they handle and having the confidence to deal with the subjects with ease and authority.
A quartet, each of which having more than a quarter century of experience - an accumulated knowledge resource of about a century is slipping away from the fold of Sacred Heart's.

What is common in them:
A committment to the call of teaching - they are all considered excellent teachers
A committment to the institution
A readiness to comply with the instructions from authorities - all said and done, finally they belong to the school of 'theirs is not ask the reason why; but theirs is to do or die'.  They might ask reason, but in the end, they execute.
Dedication to entrusted tasks - Special Tasks : admissions (Cyriac Antony), exam  & student welfare (WT Paul), SHARE research (MS Francis), holistic education (RK Varghese)
All of them have served more than 25 years
All of them have been elected to represent staff as staff secretary or staff rep.
All of them are HoDs, though operationally Dr. Cyriac Antony was part of the composite department of Mathematics, he was the HoD of Statistics as a discipline.

Distinctive Features
RK Varghese - the vigorous and outspoken, with the spark of a social activist, with the experience of students' union activities behind him, a CMI product from Mannanam. He has also been president of the state wide organisation of Sociologists. I recall with gratitude his cooperation when a PG programme in Sociology in the self-financing stream was begun.  The management had initiated that specifically to give thrust to social science education amidst the clamour for programmes that were more in demand.  The typical 'aided staff' mentality of resisting any move to have self-financing programmes was not shown by him, and he tried to build it up. 

WT Paul - An NCC cadet and a born athlete, he showed the sportsman spirit all through.  Was active as a vibrant presence in the field of outreach and sports.
Very prompt and very straight, he meant what he said, and stood by that.
Comfortable with bicycle, he still managed to commute with a motorbike, and managed to be in communication and be mobile without having had a mobile phone all these years.

MS Francis - committed to higher learning - research was his passion.  It was his initiative that gave the proposed platform of research SHARE - SH Advanced Research Endeavours - its name, and till his retirement, he had been its captain.  It gradually expanded to include celebrating the nobel winning contributions, honouring in-house research, organising research meets on a regular basis, and further expanding to include a provision for research endeavours at schools and UG level. It is he who has been the winner of the first patent at SH.
Alongside, the research and teaching endeavours, he had an uncanny sense of rhyme and poem.  He has spoken about the realities around him in a very creative manner.


Pro-active Cyriac
Dr. Cyriac Antony is the reflection of systematic planning, foreseeing details and readiness to go beyond the ordinary.  He had great eagerness to lead the composite department, and I am sure, had he been given a chance, he would have made the otherwise dull Mathematics department, much more pro-active.  However, having a full-fledged Mathematics PG programme, the management thought it not a healthy practice to have a statistician head the department, while there were other eligible Mathematics teachers. But in the matter of making the autonomous status functional, he played a key role - initially, as the Dean of Science faculty, and later, as the Special Officer for Autonomy.  His contributions with statistics club also is worth mentioning, giving students a taste of psephology during the students' union election times. 

I would say, 'The eyes that have seen them are fortunate, the ears that have heard them are fortunate...'  And I happen to one among them - though not in their lecture sessions, but in working together with them. 

May the Sacred Heart keep them sacred and strong!!

AN ENGAGING EVENING IN KOHIMA

 AN ENGAGING EVENING – THOUGHT PROVOKING CONVERSATIONS IN KOHIMA

I was accompanying the director of NEDSSS, Guwahati Dr. Sebastian and Dr. Joseph PV, the former VG of Kohima diocese, in their hunt for material regarding the former bishop of Kohima, late Rev. Abraham Alangimattathil SDB.  We stopped over at the Kohima Assembly where our illustrious alumnus, Dr. Antony PJ of 1979 PDC batch welcomed us. He has always been a vocal advocate of what SH did or does for students citing his own example.  We had a very engaging conversation with Dr. Joan, his wife and associate professor of psychology, JM College, Delhi also getting deeply involved.  I am hardly used to such long and engaging conversations.  The discussion was around the threat and intimidation (persecution!) that minority communities, especially, the Church face today, and the lack of visionary leadership in the Church to guide the Christian community and ministry about that. We felt that the bishops were not giving the Church the right direction, on which Dr. Antony also had agreement.  However, Dr. Joan warmed up to the discussion, and raised the point that the Church cannot do anything about it, until it is able to address the issues (say, wrongs/injustices) within it – perhaps against women, or against groups that are already marginalised. She cited her own experience with JMC over last 3 decades indicating how the quality of people who led had drastically come down, responding to a possible reason Antony suggested – that of the lowering of the quality of leadership, the background and motivation.  I confronted saying that such thinking cannot be acceptable in Christian context, with Christ choosing the 12 and perhaps a larger group of disciples, from very poor socio-economic and cultural background, and who continued to be not fully free from the limitations of their upbringing in spite of their intense Jesus experience. He responded saying it was not meant to be merely SES of the so called elect! Joan appeared not satisfied with her hierarchy-baiting, repeating the need for correction within the smaller (basic groups and individuals) before going for the larger and macro issues. I couldn’t digest the way in which it was put across, as if the entire system was corrupt, and those who are part of the so-called hierarchy were the culprits. I warmed up and with my usual passion when in argument, said that I disagreed and cited some arguments, apparently, in some heated manner.  Joan responded that I (we, the hierarchy) was becoming defensive and she would not stop saying these just because I had responded in that (harsh! implied) manner, that she had been invited by CRI Delhi, where her positions were responded to eagerly by the gathering and some young religious vouching for suppression/oppression within the basic religious communities (houses/convents etc).  She also felt that the efforts made in the name of synods (the present one about synodality and participation etc.) were farce, and mere whitewash. She said that she had walked out of the discussion after the first session was over, sensing the wastefulness of the exercise.  (Now I was struck that I had hardly any real information about all these – I was never involved in any such discussion anywhere – before or even now!!  Yes I had been hearing more about this synod, and I had in my mind that somewhere I should get involved, but we too don’t have many occasions to be in the mainstream, I fear.  We tend to give the slip or slip away, unwittingly).  

She pointed out specifically towards the infight and disunity among the consecrated members and the members of hierarchy – citing the examples of running of institutions and the Church (e.g., the ongoing fight for eucharistic celebration facing the altar or people – which she considered a non-issue).  This I felt was a real issue, and I felt the religious ought to hear this.  I accept the possibility of differences and arguments, but finally, clarity regarding the purpose of our life (imitation of Christ) and purpose of our ministry (proclamation of the goodnews) whatever mode it may take should take priority over everything else – this, I am afraid is not happening.  Often our infight and efforts to pull down others and not joining hands on commonly agreed upon goals and the modality (ies) of achieving them, become a great scandal, and make us butt of the jokes of the laity. 

But I stood my grounds with the following arguments: 

1. She was absolutizing the individual experiences (which are very real, and which are definitely to be corrected) and presenting a picture, as if the Church and religious life was more of a scandal and means of oppression/suppression, which was not true. There could be any number of instances and experiences to show the helping and compassionate face of Christian life as lived by the consecrated persons and communities. 

2. Fully agreeing while we need continuous and life-long reformation (ecclesia semper reformanda est!) towards becoming Christ (as we profess primarily to be Christians), we cannot wait till those issues are tackled/addressed to address or respond to macro issues – these have to be taken on simultaneously. 

3. I also told her that hers was not a stray instance, rather priest/religious communities do invite the lay leaders to share their critical views regarding the consecrated life, and receive the views well, though the correction might not appear prompt and overarching, in spite of the efforts in that direction. 

Antony also appeared to be in agreement with my arguments. 

But I liked the challenge Antony threw up: (Given the lack of leadership/wherewithal to meet the challenges posed by the present political power structure head-on) the ideal approach would be to let the process as laid down in the norms to take place, and not let us lose our stand on issues come in the way of protecting our possessions – land etc. as in the case of Delhi Arch-diocese.  Church was not born or built up with all these, and now we should not be losing our idealism or compromising on our ideological positions.  This is indeed a challenge, and would be a test for the Church. 

By now, serving of some snacks, and Antony initiating us to have some spirit brought down the heat of the arguments and we could still engage in some less harmful banter, like that of alumni involvement etc. Again, discussions took us to the majoritarian hindutwa political agenda of annihilating the others, and going away from constitutional values which are nothing but Christian values, which happened to be there, thanks to the direct or indirect Christian influence through western education of those times and leaders.  This scenario has already changed and is drastically changing with we being no longer the educational leaders.  And still not waking up to such issues on a collective platform – of Catholic and Christian and even minoritarian unity and solidarity. Joan, again was harping on her old tune, that individual has to take the initiative (especially referring to ‘you’ in the hierarchy), while that being still indigestible to me – as individual initiatives should be there, the collective initiatives cannot be a substitute for individual initiatives.  

When I cited the instance of the Cardinal responding to my appeal to take initiative that what we could do is to pray for peace, she responded ridiculing that let prayer be the solution for changing the mind of Modi as well.  I think here both of us err, as prayer can also be a powerful spiritual instrument – so have I really made these matters subject of my prayer? 

We were taken out for dinner by Antony and Joan to VIVOR, a joint (apparently run by the CM through his son?).  It is said to be a high profile place. I thought I would try something Nagamese, and ordered Braised fish with Naga sauce and wild green leaves. Sounded good to my ears! Now it came in a small katora, accompanied by a large bowl of white rice. Fish was very much there, almost bland, but some flavour was added, which tasted to something like a perfume (not that I had tasted any perfume before), and the leaves in the watery gravy didn’t appeal to my taste buds, rather they felt bitter.  But there were plenty of other stuff – some pork, chilly chicken, prawns, fried rice, roti etc…. I regained taste for my tongue with some fried rice and some prawns. It was great company and a good evening. When we were on our own, Fr. Sebastian suggested that when lay people make such arguments it is better that we keep quiet and listen. Fr. Joseph also apparently supported, saying that they might otherwise feel like not responding! Valid point, I feel – but, if it is an intellectual debate, does one’s presenting an argument forcefully need to restrain others from the same. Fortunately, Joan says she would. But would others do the same? Is being part of the hierarchy such an intimidating force?

 Chethikkalam – Rev. Fr. Mathew Chethikalam CMI (1965-2022)

In this age of disruptive technology, apparently making relations more mechanical, at least for once, this time, Chethi (Rev. Fr. Mathew Chethikkalam alias Sibichan – but let us stick on to the more familiar Chethi, in this write up), in a paradoxical manner, by departing from all of us, brought us together.  For the first time, so many of us, CMIs, other batch mates, former CMIs, sisters (nuns) who studied with us, all could come together on the zoom platform.  Many expressed a shock that it has begun with our batch too – spelling a count down of sorts for us too. (But we recalled that it had already begun with Jose Theruvunkunnel departing almost 20 years ago, and Theodore Toppo – 1985 batch – departing last year).  But all agreed that it was good that we meet now and then, as we don’t know whether we will all be there for long to see again.

Our ‘master’ Rev. Dr. Areeplackal, in spite of his health related engagements, took time out to be with us.  All stressed the factor that in his departure, he brought us together (for once). But also cautioning:

സമയമടുത്തൂ ദൈവമിതാ ന്യായാധിപനായണയുന്നു 

സ്വീകരണത്തിനൊരുങ്ങിടുവിൻ 

സത്കൃത്യങ്ങൾ ചെയ്തിടുവിൻ ...

പരിശുദ്ധന്മാർക്കവനേകും നിത്യാന്ദവും...

 

The gathering opened with a prayer led by Gen Councillor Paulson Paliekara, (who also managed the zoom meeting with liberal support of PG secretary Geo) and was followed by a brief description of the later days of Chethikalam, by our arch-organiser of the batch, Mariya (Joseph Mariyalayam).

 

Of the 50 odd newly professed CMIs of 1985, Chethi stood out – with his lean, mean figure, dark complexion, sprightly gate, piercing high decibel voice, enthusiastic presence primarily in the basket ball court, but also in volley ball, cricket or football (goal keeper) as the situation demanded.  I was struck by his energy and agility to go for the ball in the volley ball court, though his appearance there was rare, perhaps, only for the inter-section (house) matches.

The two years of philosophy training showed Chethi gaining access to all parts and sections (even forbidden areas) of the seminary.  He was free with almost everyone on the campus. 

He continued his studies in Christ College, and the late Bp Immanuel Pothanamuzhy (then, Fr. Giles) who was the section master, became a ‘daddy’ for him. And he could not refuse a demand for celebration from Chethi – recalled his Christ college mate, ‘our patriarch’ of Keralam, (Vazhoor Vazhunnor) Joshy Thadiyananickal.

His birthday, falling on April 1^st, all fools’ day, was some tool in our hands to make fun of him, which didn’t ever bother him. He was also enthusiastic in playing cards, including that of ‘support’, a game that required some sharp attention to the bids by others.

By the time, Chethi returned for Theology to Dharmaram, our 50 odd strong batch had shrunk to a pocket-size batch of 30 odd members.   Chethi was already transformed into a corpulent person, though he managed to keep his interest in games alive.   His interest in games took a twist – from player, he began to be ‘playmaker’ outside the court – in the sense of becoming someone who managed games and players. He was quite determined to be a referee in basket ball, and he earned that position by really working hard for that. He was so absorbed in its preparation, that our good friends came to know that someone was found in St. John’s hospital, going about whistling around, after blood transfusion – on enquiry revealing it was Chethi who donated blood for him.  Chethi had also put on considerable weight by that time, though that in no way hindered his being an effective umpire spanning the length and breadth of the court as demanded by the rigour of basketball games, even at national level.

Master recalled his being outspoken, but still obedient and entertaining no malice towards anyone. Once ordained, he was further transformed into a passionate pastor, who did not have to sacrifice a career as a basket ball umpire and someone who groomed players for the future.  This he managed by intelligently taking up the position of a primary school teacher (English and Social Studies), and grooming youngsters in the field. According to our scientist stalwart Dr. Baby, he was an outstanding sports person, who established himself distinctly in his field.

But being ever responsive to a call for the conventional pastoral ministry was irresistible to Chethi and he was ever available as a pastor. Perhaps, the newpapers announced his departure with the epithet ‘kalikkalathile itayan’.

Chethi is said to have found enjoyment in what he did – though most of the people would find them dull and taxing – school teaching, youth formation through basket ball court (and in turn, providing them a career path), pastoral ministry.  However, as cautioned by the letter to the Hebrews 10:25, he did not forsake the occasions created to come together as CMIs, as a batch, though he did that more for fulfilling his obligation to the batch, rather than getting involved in the merry making such gatherings would entail. He enjoyed life, but in his own way – found engagments that suited his call, and made him happy.  He was also a man of celebrations, wherever he was, he took initiatives for celebrating life – feasts held great importance in his life.

His sudden departure, at the (young) age of 57, came as a shock to many of us batch mates, especially, those who saw only the veneer of his being an energetic sports person.  But he was afflicted by certain illnesses for which he did seek treatment in the past few years.  It seems that in spite of having sought treatment, he had not taken adequate caution on that front, and perhaps, took things in a sportive manner, and sidelined the need for greater medical care in his thrilling engagement as a pastor.

His short stint as a pastor of Karumadi is said to have brought about a great awakening in the parish community.

Our sports star, and now the well established national award winning educationalist Dr. Thengumpally, spoke about his circle of friendship which exceeded beyond our imagination, and Paulson, former formation coordinator, vouched for the same by the very diverse and impressive turn out of his friends and beneficiaries, during the occasion of his funeral.

Our court poet Joshy recalled how they met in 1979 for the vocation camp, and how they were together as altar servers on the first day after their arrival in the seminary in 1980.  Paul, our novice master eternal, recalled from Africa, their invitation to Chethi to officiate basket ball tournament at Kunnamkulam, and how he enthusiastically accepted the opportunity to celebrate Sunday mass amidst the busy-ness of officiating the games.

Dr. Mathew, the former CBCI secretary for health ministry, recalled from US (together with Jose from Florida), how his vivacious presence, especially in the courts was unforgettable.

But on 25^th morning, he thus went away – without taxing anyone, without having to undergo any prolonged bout of illness and consequent hospital or medical treatment.

As our good friend, Puncha puts it: He has blossomed as an ixora (chethi) in God’s presence:

മറഞ്ഞിരുന്നാലും മനസിന്റെ കണ്ണിൽ മലരായി വിരിയുന്നു നീ

But as a man, the greatness of Chethi lay in his forthrightness – he would blurt out what he felt; circumspection was no great virtue with him.  He would speak out what he felt before anyone.  But he never harboured hard feelings in spite of the differences or disputes with others. That was the mark of his guilelessness and goodness.

Chethi’s unexpected (and untimely??) departure also cautions us to be prepared, but leave no normal measure to be taken unattended, to keep the great ‘means for duty’ (dharmasadhanam), our body, the temple of God, in tact, in good health. That is also a mission so that the greater mission(s) may be effectively accomplished, and that we do not become a liability and burden for others (though health, as such, is not something entirely in our hands and occasions of ill health also would have to be accepted with serenity).

Our gathering had people attending from Africa, Europe, America, Philippines, India (Gujarat, Madhya Pradesh, Karnataka, Tamil Nadu, Maharashtra) and different parts of Keralam. It was celebrating our sprightly brother, who went about doing good after the Master (Acts 10:38). Chethi goes away in glory with the reminder: it is better to wear out than rust out!!

Let me wind up this with what Dr Mathew Thengumpally shared on the occasion:

Fr Chethikalam was a popular priest not among the CMIs but among the public.. He seemed to know everybody in the world. And if he didn’t then, they know him now, I’m sure.

Fr Mathew loved his work. He loved his ministry. He loved to bring Christ to people. He was the bridge between people and God and he loved to do that.

This was written thousands of years ago . It’s a quote from the Book of Lamentations. “The favours of the Lord are not exhausted. His mercies are not spent. Every morning, they are renewed. Great is his faithfulness. I will always trust in him.”  Pranamam dear friend!