Mothers' Day to Family Day 2022

Today I read about Sajad Garib, the toughest man in the world - 175 kgs in weight. But for each child and family, fortunate to have their mothers, in most cases, mother is the toughest person of their world. 

Conceiving, carrying, bearing and caring for a child is perhaps the toughest tasks with uncertainties all the time, but accompanied by the joys of one's own part growing and blooming! That alone! Expecting anything else is likely to make them disappointed. 

Mother is the one resource bank, we depend on, or call upon, in all our times of need and crisis! At least, for a Malayalee, it is like that - we tend to call out 'amme' when we experience any trauma.  I trust it may be the same with other cultures.  

As usual, sanskrit tradition has a beautiful saying about mother (cited by the teacher who was acting as the compere): 

नास्ति मातृसमा छाया नास्ति मातृसमा गतिः।
नास्ति मातृसमं त्राणं नास्ति मातृसमा प्रपा॥

A child shared her thoughts of her mother - most likely written and given by her own mother (or her father!) - mother is some one who takes care of her, who calls her with so many endearing names, each time and each occasion with a difference in the tone, communicating appropriate meaning, someone with whom she can play, she can dance, she can roam around (these are relatively modern things to do with a mom of Indian make), she can quarrel and fight...someone who was an airhostess, and left that job, so that she could be with her all the time. 

I read a mom's experience - they had almost given up the hope of having a child - so they took to travel and adventure.... and lo, unexpectedly a child comes into their lives... now she is no longer interest in adventure travels, she feels 'mothering' is a greater adventure than most of the adventurous trips she had made. 

ammayallathoru daivamunto, athilum valiyoru kovilunto? It is said by some poet that God created mothers, because he cannot be everywhere!! In other words, God as love appears to human beings in the form of their mothers!

Congratulations to all mothers!!  There are many who aspire, but are not able to. Very fortunate!

Salutations to you!! There are more women today who choose not to create a family, and run the risk, and go for the adventure. But you have done it!! 

Sometimes, when a child is brought to school we ask the mother: What are you doing? Some of them say, 'Oh nothing?'  Some say: "oh, I am just a housewife'. I think society has made the incomparable work of mothering and bringing up a family involved, to a mere nothing, and the mothers seem to be reconciled to that. 

This has to change.  More than a century ago,  if I recall correctly, Alfred Marshall had the farsight to speak about the 'economics' involved in a woman managing a home, and the need to account that when we discuss GDP.  The tremendous tasks undertaken by a woman as a mother, home maker are to be ever acknowledged, and if someone chooses to be, or if circumstances have forced her to be a full time home-maker and mother, that is to be accorded equal dignity of being a working woman, an executive. 

Women, who have chosen to walk the tight-rope of being a mother and working and earning person at the same time also deserve to be respected and honoured for the tough balancing act they try to do on a daily basis. 

As we celebrate mother's day and another day devoted to families, I remember Ukraine. Children losing their mothers, of mothers losing their children. Homes and families devastated.  I also remember Srilanka - where families are struggling to get bare minimums of life - food! Earth still has sufficient resources for all - it is human avarice and selfishness that lead to such deprivations. May there be no war, and my there be peace all over! 

Today, at Rajagiri Doha we celebrated Mother's Day - there were about half a dozen programmes ... duets by mother and her child... singing or dancing.. There was one in which 2 kids and their mother stepped in tune with the rhythm of the song. There was a group dance by mothers - all dressed up, and that caught the attention of the otherwise distracted kids - the colour, the music and the movement of a noticeable group on the stage.  There was video presentation showing how their teachers, all mothers, are engaged at home from dawn to late night, while being busy with their children at school duirng the day.  It touched me.  The kids clapped for their teachers and shouted out their names when each of them appeared on the screen. 

I recall my childhood - a rather happy one. When I completed IV grade at the near by convent school, meant for girls (but accommodated boys till IV grade), my mom took me to St. Augustine's school, Kaloor and admitted me there in the V grade. Thereafter, my friend and neighbour Henry Austin and me, travelled everyday by public transport of Kochi.  In the three years of schooling there, not even once did my parents or siblings come there.  We never bothered that our parents didn't come, and no one bothered. That was the case with most of us there. 

My mom was amply helped by my elder sisters to pack our lunch and get our breakfast ready before we left. And they themselves were going to college as regular (and serious) students in those days. I did not find any of them complaining regarding having such things to do. Perhaps, I was the one who had complaints regarding having to do the daily shopping for home - purchasing grocery or fish or vegetables - all within the reach of a few hundred meters!   Later, my mother decided to admit me to Sacred Heart High School in our neighbourhood.  Again, in the three years there, it was just once that my father had come to the school and attended a PTA meeting, my mother never did. We had no objection to it being thus - no one bothered - the child, the parent or the teacher! 

Now it's all very different! Any minor instance is reported to the parent by the child, and the parents are very possessive, and concerned, and any lack of attention to their child is immediately brought to the attention of the teacher or school authorities. Parents are definitely involved, all the more so when it is a CBSE school 

Interestingly, it is the other way about - if the parents feel they are not being involved or included, they feel offended, and in the schools run by private managments, such complaints are registered with all concerned - either by email or whatsapp, and a redressal is expected. 

Only a representative group was permitted to attend, as COVID restrictions continue to remain.  Now the bone of contention is that on what basis that selection was made. Legitimate!  But kya se kya ban jaata hai -  imagine the (golden?) old days of blissful unconcern to grudging concern for involvement.